#I wish I had more time and energy to comment each reblog

[magnusbae]

Your obikin rants when you reblog my post are my daily delight, please never stop 🥰

Oh you darling 😌🤭🥰 I'm glad that it is amusing to you. I often do wonder about the people who just get a massive text block in their activity and then just proceed to do it anyways -amused- it's good it provides for good reading material 😌😏😏

[simjaexy]

𝙃𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨 | 𝙋.𝙎.

pairing ⇀ brothers best friend! park sunghoon x sister! reader

synposis ⇀ you knew sunghoon ever since you were little with him being your big brothers best friend. what jay didn’t know though, was that you always had a secret crush on sunghoon. despite your feelings, you believe sunghoon doesn’t like you back and sees you as nothing more than his friends annoying little sister. right?

genre ⇀ smut, angst

warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!!!, the sexual scene doesn’t come for a while, lower case intended, cursing, arguments, crying, partying, drinking, insecurities, sunghoon is toxic, reader thinks about sunghoon a lot, mean dom! sunghoon x sub! reader, eating out, overstimulation (f), blowjob, semi public sex, jealousy, possessiveness, dirty talk, manhandling, minor choking, lying, fingering, name calling (slut and etc.), no protection (wrap up ur hotdog), not cumming inside, lmk if i missed any!

w.c ⇀ 8.0k+

a/n ⇀ was trying to do a drabble but instead made it into a somewhat whole fic cause i got carried away but oh well. this took me a while too make cause i wanted to make it good but i think it ended well ifykyk ;). also, if you would like to be added to my permanent taglist please click here and leave a comment! reblog, comment, like, etc.! not proofread!

masterlist here

you remember the first time you met sunghoon at a neighborhood park. you were five while sunghoon was six. the sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the playground. jay, your big brother, had excitedly dragged you along to meet his new buddy.

you were curious but also a bit nervous. as you and jay approached the swings, you saw a boy standing there with an air of cool detachment. his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and his eyes seemed to be lost in thought.

"hey, sunghoon! this is my little sister, y/n," jay introduced her with a wide grin, his enthusiasm infectious.

sunghoon barely glanced at you, muttering a quick "hi" before turning his attention back to the ground. his voice was soft but carried a certain indifference that made you feel small.

you felt a pang of disappointment but brushed it off, determined to get to know him better. after all, jay had spoken highly of him, and you trusted your big brothers judgment.

as the years went by, you found yourself attending the same school, even participating in the same extracurricular activities. your crush on Sunghoon grew stronger with each passing year.

you noticed the little things about him—the way his eyes softened when he was lost in thought, the rare smiles he reserved for jay and his other friends, and the quiet kindness he showed when he thought no one was looking. he was always polite to you, but there was a distance, a wall that you couldn't seem to breach.

high school brought more opportunities for interaction, but also more complications. sunghoon became more popular, his cool demeanor attracting a lot of attention. you, on the other hand, remained in the background, content with your small circle of friends and your studies. despite your different social circles, their paths crossed often, thanks to jay.

now that it’s been years of knowing sunghoon, you know how he acts, how he talks, how he reacts, everything about him that other girls wish they knew. but one thing that you’ll never know is his type. you seem to be nothing but jays little sister to him, right?

it was a typical friday evening, and your house was buzzing with the usual energy that came with having your brother, jay, and his other best friend, sim jaeyun, over. they were playing video games in your living room while you silently read a book in the kitchen.

you heard jake screeching about something while jay was shouting nonsense. you weren’t gonna lie and say it didn’t give you fat headache. as you continued reading you suddenly heard a knock at the door. annoyed, you went to go answer it.

you walked past jay and jake and headed towards the door boredly.

as you opened the door, you were met with the sight of park sunghoon, jay's friend, aka your crush. he stood there, looking as cold and distant as ever, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket.

"hey," you greeted him, trying to keep your voice steady despite the way your heart was pounding.

sunghoon barely acknowledged you with a nod before stepping inside without a word.

he didn't even spare you a glance as he made his way to the living room where jay and jake were deeply engrossed in their video game. you closed the door behind him, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment.

you followed him into the living room, where the boys were too focused on their game to notice your presence. sunghoon joined them, his expression remaining stoic as he watched the screen. you took a seat on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in the book you had picked up earlier. but your eyes kept drifting back to sunghoon, watching his every move.

you decided to try to catch a conversation, “hey, sunghoon, do you want something to drink?" you offered, hoping to engage him in some small talk.

he barely looked up from where he was watching jay and jake, "no, thanks," he replied curtly, his attention still focused on your brother.

you sighed inwardly, feeling a pang of disappointment. it was always like this. no matter what you did, sunghoon never seemed to notice you. it was as if you were invisible to him, just another part of the background.

the boys continued their game, their laughter and banter filling the room. sunghoon remained quiet, only occasionally offering a terse comment or a slight sigh. you wished you could be a part of their world, to share in their camaraderie, but you felt like an outsider looking in.

despite your best efforts to focus on your book, you couldn't help but steal glances at sunghoon. Every now and then, his eyes would flicker in your direction, and you would quickly look away, hoping he hadn't noticed. but deep down, you hoped he had.

jake groaned when he finally lost to jay, letting out a frustrated growl, “my finger pressed the wrong button!”

jay cackled and clapped his hands together. sunghoon just stared at them. you noticed how much jay and jake talk compare to sunghoon. but to them, he was like a missing puzzle piece to their friendship.

jay got up from the couch and stretched, “i’m gonna make something to eat. anyone want pizza rolls?” he questioned. jake raised his hand like a kid while sunghoon shook his head. you stared up at jay and nodded.

he went to the kitchen while jake wrapped an arm around sunghoon shoulder, “did you talk to that girl yet?”

you heart dropped hearing that. what was jake talking about? you peeked from your book and watched sunghoons expression. it still remained serious, but you could see a bit of an annoyance.

“i already told you, i blocked her number.” he stated. jake gasped and unwrapped his arm around sunghoon, shoving him.

“what? dude she was your only chance to getting some!” jake said. he threw his hands on his head as if sunghoon broke a promise that was supposed to be kept forever. sunghoon shrugged his shoulders,

“i don’t want a girl that gets passed around.” he firmly said. jake stopped complaining and put a finger under his chin. you on the other hand, was wondering what girl it could be.

jay eventually came back with a plate full of pizza rolls and set them in the table. jake hurriedly grabbed one and took a bite only to whine how hot it was. you giggled and took a bite yourself.

“ready to do another round?” jay spoke. jake nodded and grabbed the controller, loading it to jay. they both sat down again and started a new round.

you noticed sunghoon was staring off in a distance, “everything okay?” you asked. sunghoon flicked his gaze towards you before simply nodding and standing up.

“i’m gonna head to the restroom.” he spoke towards jay. jay nodded his head. sunghoon walked towards the hall that led to the bathroom, shutting the door with a click. you let a little sigh before grabbing your book again and reading. it was worth a shot.

eventually, the boys finished their game, and jay and jake started packing up their things. sunghoon stood up, his expression still unreadable.

he glanced at you briefly, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. but before you could decipher it, he turned away and headed for the door.

"see you around," he said, his voice cold and detached.

you nodded, unable to find your voice. as he walked out the door, you felt a pang of longing. jay stood next to you eating a pizza roll, “why are you staring at sunghoon like that?”

you snapped out of your daze and glared at him, “i wasn’t staring at him!” you snapped. you turned your heel heading back to your room.

jay watched you go to your room, “were too!” the only thing he heard from you was a loud groan with the door slamming shut.

the morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow over your room. you groaned softly, reaching out to silence the alarm clock blaring on your nightstand. it was another school day, and you knew you had to get up. with a sigh, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and stretched.

"hey, sleepyhead! get up, or we're gonna be late!" jay called from the hallway.

jay was always the early riser, and he made sure you were up and ready on time. you quickly got dressed and headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth and fix your hair. jay was already in the kitchen, making breakfast.

"morning," you greeted him, grabbing a piece of toast.

"morning," he replied with a grin, "ready for another day at school?"

you rolled your eyes playfully, “as ready as I'll ever be."

jay chuckled and ruffled your hair. "come on, let's get going."

the two of you drove to school together, chatting about random stuff. as you guys got out of the car, you approached the school. you noticed the usual crowd of girls gathered around sunghoon and jake, who walked through the hallway with their signature known demeanor.

as you reached your locker, jay went off to join his friends, leaving you alone. you stood at your locker, watching the scene unfold from a distance. it was hard not to notice sunghoon, especially when jay and jake were so openly flirtatious with the girls.

jay's charming smile and jake's playful banter had the girls swooning, but sunghoon remained detached, barely acknowledging their presence. as jay and jake still talked with the girls, sunghoon began to walk away from the crowd.

you decided to follow him, curiosity getting the better of you. you kept a safe distance, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. sunghoon's long strides took him to a quieter part of the school, away from the hustle and bustle of the main hallways.

just as you thought you were being discreet, sunghoon suddenly stopped and turned around. your heart skipped a beat as his piercing gaze locked onto yours. before you could react, he closed the distance between you, trapping you against the wall with his arms on either side of your head.

"why are you following me?" he asked, his voice low and teasing.

you felt a blush creep up your cheeks, but you couldn't find the words to answer. sunghoon's proximity was overwhelming, and his intense gaze made it hard to think straight. he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear.

"do you enjoy watching me?" he whispered, a smirk playing on his lips.

you swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure. "i-i was just... curious," you stammered.

sunghoon chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving yours, "curious, huh? be careful, curiosity can be dangerous."

with that, he pushed away from the wall and walked off, leaving you flustered and breathless. You watched him go, your heart still racing from the encounter. what the fuck just happened?

after that encounter you went straight to your classroom, not even bothering to say hi to your friends. you sat at your desk and let out a deep sigh.

did sunghoon meant to do that? you felt your heart beating out of your ears. maybe you were just hallucinating it. the bell finally rang when students started coming in. you on the other hand, decided to just lay your head down for the whole lecture.

lunch came by pretty fast and before you knew it you were on your way to your friend group table. you took a seat while your friends were gossiping about someone.

"did you see sunghoon talking to that girl in the hall earlier?" one of them asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

your friends exchanged glances, sensing your discomfort but pressing on, "they seemed pretty close, like they were having a deep conversation or something. do you know anything about it?"

shakes of heads were viewed until they all looked at you.

you shook your head, forcing a smile, "no, i don't know anything about it."

you felt curious on who the girl could’ve been. knowing sunghoon since forever you knew he’s not the type to start a conversation with a girl first. was it the girl jake was talking about?

you huffed and took a bite out of your food. whatever it was, it wasn’t your problem. but you still had that pang of discomfort in your chest.

the final bell of the day echoed through the halls, signaling the end of another school day. you gathered your books and headed towards the exit, where your friends were already waiting. as you approached, jay pulled up in his car, offering you a ride home as usual.

"hey, you need a ride home?" jay called out. you hesitated for a moment before shaking your head.

“no thanks. i think i'll walk with my friends today." you chimed.

jay raised an eyebrow but didn't press further, "alright, see you later then."

as you walked with your friends, the conversation flowed easily, but your mind kept drifting back to Sunghoon. You hadn't seen him much today, and the lingering thoughts from the previous conversation gossip still gnawed at you. your friends noticed your distraction but didn't comment, knowing you well enough to give you space.

when you finally reached your house, you waved goodbye to your friends and walked up the driveway. the sound of laughter from the backyard caught your attention. curiosity piqued, you made your way around the side of the house.

there, by the pool, were jay, jake, and sunghoon, all three in bathing suits, clearly ready for a swim.

jake noticed you first and waved, "hey, you made it! we decided to take a dip. wanna join?"

your eyes flickered to sunghoon, who was lounging on a chair, looking effortlessly cool and completely at ease. it’s almost as if this morning wasn’t even real. the sight of him in his swim trunks made your heart race, and you felt a blush creeping up your cheeks.

"uh, i left my swimsuit at my friends house," you stammered, trying to keep your composure.

sunghoon glanced up, his expression unreadable, "you can always borrow one," he said nonchalantly, as if your presence didn't faze him at all.

you felt a mix of shyness and frustration. it was clear that Sunghoon didn't share the same nervousness you felt around him, "maybe next time," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

your brother, ever the peacemaker, jumped in, "no worries. we can just hang out. come sit with us."

reluctantly, you walked over and took a seat on the edge of a lounge chair, trying to act casual. the conversation flowed around you, but your focus kept drifting back to sunghoon.

every time he laughed or spoke, you felt a pang of longing, wishing he would notice you the way you noticed him.

the water sparkled invitingly, and the sound of laughter filled the air as sunghoon, jay, and jake splashed around. you noticed sunghoon moved through the water with such grace, each stroke powerful and smooth.

jay and jake were goofing off, trying to dunk each other, but sunghoon was focused, swimming laps effortlessly. the way his muscles flexed and glistened under the sun made your heart race. you tried to look away, but it was no use. your gaze kept returning to him.

after what felt like an eternity, sunghoon finally climbed out of the pool, water cascading down his toned body. he ran a hand through his wet hair, sending droplets flying. you felt your cheeks heat up and quickly looked down, hoping he didn't notice your flustered state.

but when you dared to glance up, you caught his eye and he gave you a small, knowing smirk. your blush deepened, and you couldn't help but look down, your heart pounding in your chest.

as the afternoon wore on, you found yourself relaxing a bit, the initial awkwardness fading. jay and jake’s easy banter was infectious, and you couldn't help but join in. despite sunghoon's apparent indifference, you cherished these moments.

when the sun began to set, jay suggested ordering pizza, and the four of you moved inside. the atmosphere was warm and inviting, and for a while, you forgot about your worries, simply enjoying the company of jay and his friends.

jay was on the phone, ordering pizza for everyone. the anticipation of the delicious food was palpable, but your mind was elsewhere. sitting so close to sunghoon made your heart race, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous.

jake, noticing your unease, leaned in with a friendly smile, "hey, are you okay? you seem a bit tense," he asked, his voice gentle.

you glanced at him, trying to calm your racing heart, "yeah, i'm fine. just a bit... hungry," you lied, hoping he wouldn't see through it.

sunghoon, who had been quiet, shifted slightly closer to you. his presence was overwhelming, and you could feel the heat radiating from his body.

he glanced at jake, his eyes narrowing slightly, "she’s fine, jake. Just a little tired, right?" sunghoon's voice was smooth but there was an edge to it.

jake raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing the tension, "sure, man. but you know, talking can help distract from hunger and tiredness," he said, turning his attention back to you, "so, what have you been up to lately? feels like i don’t really see you often." he joked.

you appreciated Jake's attempt to make you feel comfortable, but sunghoon's proximity was making it hard to focus, "oh, just the usual stuff. school, work, you know how it is," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

sunghoon's arm brushed against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. he leaned in slightly, his voice low. "you know, you don't have to answer him if you don't want to. we're just waiting for the pizza, after all."

your heart skipped a beat at his words. there was something possessive in his tone that both thrilled and confused you. you glanced at him, trying to read his expression, but his face was a mask of calm.

jake, ever the peacemaker, tried to lighten the mood, "well, i think it's great that we're all hanging out together. it's been a while since we had a chill night like this," he said, giving you a reassuring smile.

jay finally hung up the phone and rejoined the group. "pizza's on its way! should be here in about thirty minutes," he announced, plopping down on the other side of jake.

the conversation flowed more easily with jay back, but you couldn't shake the feeling of sunghoon's eyes on you. every time you laughed at one of jake's jokes or responded to his questions, you felt sunghoon's gaze intensify.

finally, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the pizza. jay and jake jumped up to get it, leaving you alone with sunghoon for a moment.

he took the opportunity to lean in closer, his breath warm against your ear, "you know, i wouldn’t talk to jake so much, he always does that when he wants to get into girls underwear’s." he murmured, his voice low and possessive.

your breath caught in your throat, and you turned to face him, your eyes wide, "sunghoon, we're not... i mean, we're just friends," you stammered, unsure of what to say.

he smirked, his eyes darkening, "maybe, but that doesn't mean he won’t do anything to you. just remember that," he said, his hand lingering on your arm for a moment before he pulled away.

jay and jake returned with the pizza, breaking the tension. as you all dug in, the atmosphere lightened, but you couldn't shake the feeling of sunghoon's emotions. it was confusing and thrilling all at once.

jake was already scrolling through the movie options, "How about this one?" he suggested, landing on a popular action film.

“sounds good," everyone agreed. they settled in, grabbing slices of pizza and filling their cups. the room was filled with the sounds of chewing and occasional laughter as they watched the movie.

as the movie progressed, you felt a gentle touch on your hand. you glanced to your side and saw sunghoon's hand lightly brushing against yours. your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly looked away, trying to focus on the movie. but the warmth of his touch lingered, making it hard to concentrate on anything else.

when the movie finally finished and every slice was gone, jake and sunghoon decided it was time to head home. jake and sunghoon were getting ready to leave.

jay was in the kitchen, cleaning up the remnants of their pizza night, while you stood by the door, ready to bid them farewell. jake was the first to step forward. his smile was warm and genuine as he reached out for a hug.

"thanks for having us over. It was a great night," he said, wrapping his arms around you in a friendly embrace. you hugged him back, feeling the comfort of his presence.

as you pulled away, you noticed sunghoon standing a few steps behind jake, his expression unreadable. his eyes were fixed on the floor, and he made no move to step forward. there was an air of detachment about him that seemed out of place.

“goodnight, sunghoon," you said, hoping to catch his eye. but he didn't look up. he simply nodded once, almost imperceptibly, and turned to walk out the door without another word. the door closed behind him, leaving you standing there, confused and a little hurt.

jake noticed your puzzled expression and gave you a small, reassuring smile, "don't worry about him. he's probably just tired," he said softly, patting your shoulder before following sunghoon out the door.

you watched them walk down the driveway, jake's easygoing stride contrasting sharply with sunghoon's tense posture.

the night air was cool, and you shivered slightly, not entirely from the cold. you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. sunghoon's silence and his refusal to say goodbye gnawed at you, leaving a lingering sense of unease.

jay came up behind you, drying his hands on a dish towel, "everything okay?" he asked, noticing your troubled expression.

“i’m not sure," you replied, still staring at the spot where sunghoon had been standing, "sunghoon didn't say goodbye. he seemed... different."

jay frowned, looking thoughtful, “maybe he's just got something on his mind. you know how he can be sometimes."

“yeah, maybe," you said, though you weren't entirely convinced. theimage of Sunghoon's emotionless face stayed with you as you closed the door and locked it for the night.

as you headed to bed, you couldn't help but wonder why sunghoon decided to act like he cared about you and then act like he didn’t care anymore. you hummed and slowly closed your eyes before falling asleep.

The morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across your room. you stretched and yawned, feeling the remnants of sleep leave your body. it was time to start your usual morning routine.

you got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. after a quick shower, you brushed your teeth and combed your hair, feeling more awake with each passing minute.

dressed and ready for the day, you made your way to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast. as you poured yourself a bowl of cereal, you heard footsteps approaching. turning around, you saw jay entering the kitchen, looking as relaxed as ever.

“morning jay," you greeted him with a smile.

“morning," he replied, grabbing an apple from the counter, "hey, just so you know, i'm gonna be hanging out with jake today. he was complaining about how he needs new shoes.”

you nodded, taking a bite of your cereal, "cool, sounds fun. what about sunghoon? isn't he coming with you guys?"

jay shook his head, a puzzled look crossing his face. "no, he said he didn't want to go. weird, right? he always hangs out with us."

you frowned, feeling a twinge of confusion. sunghoon was usually the first to join in on any plans with the group. "that’s strange. did he say why?"

jay shrugged, taking a bite of his apple, "nope, he just seemed off on call. maybe he's got something else going on."

you couldn't shake the feeling that something was up with sunghoon. determined to get to the bottom of it, you decided to check in on him later. for now, you finished your breakfast and went about your day, the mystery of sunghoon's behavior lingering in the back of your mind.

after breakfast, you tidied up the kitchen and headed out for a morning jog. the crisp air and the rhythmic sound of your footsteps on the pavement helped clear your mind.

returning home, you took a quick shower and changed into comfortable clothes. you decided to text sunghoon, hoping to get some answers.

Y/n: Hey Sunghoon. Everything okay? Jay mentioned you weren't joining them today.

minutes passed without a response, and you grew more anxious. you tried to distract yourself by diving into a book, but your thoughts kept drifting back to sunghoon. finally, your phone buzzed with a message. it was Sunghoon.

Sunghoon: I’m fine.

his reply was short, almost dismissive. you knew sunghoon well enough to sense that something was off. you couldn’t decide to think anything better than pay him a visit.

you grabbed your keys and headed to sunghoon's place. the walk wasn’t that far with him living in the same neighborhood. as you finally got to his house you felt a sudden nervousness.

as you approached his door, you hesitated for a moment before knocking. a couple seconds the door opened, sunghoon opened the door, his expression one of confusion and mild annoyance.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, his tone colder than you expected.

“i was worried about you," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "you didn't hang out with jay and jake, and you seemed distant when you texted me. what's going on?"

sunghoon's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest, “why do you care? it's none of your business."

you felt a pang of hurt at his words, “of course, it's my business! we're friends, and friends look out for each other. you've been acting strange lately, and i’m worried."

“well, maybe you should mind your own business," sunghoon snapped, his voice growing harsher. "i don't need you or anyone else telling me what to do."

your confusion turned to frustration, “why are you being like this? i'm just trying to help you!"

sunghoon's expression didn't soften, "i don't need your help. just leave me alone."

anger flared up inside you, and you couldn't hold back any longer, "fine! if you want to be a jerk, then be a jerk! but don't expect me to keep worrying about you if you're going to treat me like this."

sunghoon's eyes flickered with something you couldn't quite place, but he didn't say anything more. he simply turned and walked back into his house, leaving the door open just long enough for you to see that he truly didn't care.

feeling a mix of anger and sadness, you turned and walked away from sunghoon's house. when you finally arrived back home, you saw jay standing outside, waiting for you. he looked concerned as he approached.

"are you okay? where were you? you could at least text me where you’re going." jay asked, his voice gentle.

you didn't even look at him as you brushed past, "i'm fine," you muttered, not wanting to talk about what had just happened.

jay reached out to stop you, but you pulled away, needing some space to process everything. you went inside, leaving jay standing there, knowing he was worried but unable to face another confrontation.

the sun slowly settled down, and you were curled up on the couch, flipping through channels but not really paying attention to anything. your mind kept drifting back to the tense encounter with sunghoon earlier.

just then, jay burst into the living room, excitement radiating off him, "there's this party tonight. you should come with me. you could meet my girlfriend finally.

you looked up, not really feeling the party vibe. "i don't know, jay. i’m not really in the mood for a party tonight. maybe i can meet her after?

he gave you a knowing look, "come on, it'll be fun! plus, i heard sunghoon's going to be there. maybe we can ask him why he was acting weird."

you heart skipped a beat at the mention of sunghoon. despite the argument, you couldn't deny the feelings you had for him more than your anger.

maybe this party could be a chance to make things right, "sunghoon's going to be there?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

jay nodded, a smile playing on his lips, "yep. so, what do you say? are you in?"

you hesitated for a moment before nodding, "alright, i'll go. but I need to get ready."

jay grinned, "great! we've got a couple of hours, so take your time."

you rushed to your room, heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves. you wanted to look your best, hoping to catch Sunghoon's eye and maybe even talk things out.

you rummaged through your closet, finally settling on your favorite outfit—a sleek dress that made you feel confident and beautiful.

you applied your makeup, you couldn't help but think about what you would say to Sunghoon. you wanted to apologize for the argument and explain how much you cared about him. with a final touch of lipstick, you looked in the mirror, feeling ready to face the night.

jay was waiting for you downstairs, and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw you, "wow, never seen you this ready.”

you smiled, feeling a bit more confident, “let's go."

the drive to the party was filled with jay's chatter about who would be there and what to expect. you appreciated the distraction, but your mind kept drifting back to sunghoon. when you arrived, the party was already in full swing, with music blasting and people mingling everywhere.

jay led you inside, and you scanned the room, searching for sunghoon. you spotted him near the back, talking to a group of friends. he was leaning against a wall with a drink in his hand, looking a bit tipsy but still maintaining his usual cool demeanor.

Your heart pounded as you made your way over, trying to muster the courage to approach him.

“sunghoon, can we talk?” you asked softly, stepping closer.

he looked up, his expression unreadable, “what is it?” he replied, his voice a mix of curiosity and annoyance.

you bit your lip, “is it okay if we go to a more private space?” you asked. sunghoon looked over at his friends and said something to them. he then averted his stare to you.

he walked past you without saying a word. you followed him past the loud people and music before going upstairs to a bedroom. he went in first and then with you shutting the door. you faced him and decided to just do it.

“i’m really sorry about earlier,” you began, your voice trembling slightly, “i didn’t mean to upset you. i was just frustrated, and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair.”

sunghoon sighed, rubbing his temples, “yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly a great conversation.”

you nodded, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “i know, and I feel terrible about it. I just want us to be okay.”

he stared at you for a moment, and then a small smile tugged at his lips, “you always talk too much when you’re nervous,” he said, stepping closer. before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, silencing your apologies.

the kiss was gentle but firm, and you could taste the alcohol on his lips. it was a mix of emotions – his frustration, your regret, and a shared longing to make things right.

when he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, “i’m not mad anymore,” he whispered, “but i do know what can help you to be forgiven.”

you nodded, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders, “i’ll do anything to make you forgive me,” you said.

instead of saying something, he smashed his lips against yours. you wrapped your arms around his neck. you couldn’t believe you were finally kissing him.

you let out a tiny moan when he gripped your waist harder. he signaled you to jump making you do so. he lead you both to the bed while still having his lips latched onto yours. he set you softly on the bed and kissed your neck softly.

you gripped his locks softly and sighed feeling him go along your neck to your chest. you helped him take off your dress by unzipping on the back. when the dress finally fell slack you felt shyness course through your body.

you tried to cover yourself, but sunghoon gripped both of your wrists above your head. “sunghoon wait-“

he ignored you and rubbed his thigh against your core. you arched your back and let out a loud moan. a smirk tugged on his lips, “sensitive are we?” he teased.

you hid your face in your arm, feeling embarrassed. he traced his fingers alongside your bra before grabbing the strap and sliding it down along your shoulders. you gasped feeling his cold hands fondling your breast.

you whimpered when he flicked it and gripped it harshly, “sunghoon please.” you breathed out. sunghoon clicked his tongue.

“be patient slut.” he snapped. you but back your words and hummed. he lowered his head to your breast, and finally you felt his hot tongue on them. he sucked them hungrily like he’s been waiting to do this for a long time. loud moans and kissing noises were heard.

you squirmed and cried out when he let go of them with a ‘pop’. he took off his jacket and shirt revealing his toned body. you pouted when you couldn’t feel his abs since his hands were still holding you down.

he grinned when he saw you trying to release from his grip, “i told you to be patient didn’t i?” he rasped. you nodded your head, wanting to be good. he chuckled darkly.

you suddenly felt a hand on your core and that’s when sunghoon started rubbing alongside your folds. you let out a squeal when he dipped his hand in your underwear and rubbed your clit.

“sunghoon ahh~” you cried out. he prodded around your hole before slowly dipping a finger in. you felt a shooting pain and tried closing your legs.

“if you can’t take a finger, how can you take my dick?” he asked so casual. you felt your cheeks go red. you slowly tried relaxing, feeling the stretch burn.

slowly, you felt him go in and out causing you to let out a quiet moan. when sunghoon noticed you were feeling good, he added another finger in making you squirm.

soon enough, three fingers were already inside you moving back and forth. your loud moans sounding desperate. you felt your orgasm coming and tried signaling sunghoon. he didn’t stop when you felt your legs shake as your orgasm went right through you.

you let out a desperate breath when he let his fingers slip out. you watched him lick his fingers clean with your cum. you blinked twice and squeezed your legs together. he let go of your wrists and began to unbuckle his belt and slid his pants and boxers down.

you let out a gasp seeing how big he was. there was no way he could fit. he hissed when he touched his dick and let out long strokes. you gulped seeing his pre cum seep out. letting your mind take over you for up and crawled towards him.

he eyes you confused before he felt your smaller hand grip his dick. he let out a groan and threw his head back. you stroked it slowly up and down before licking his pre cum. you hummed at his salty taste.

you didn’t know where your confidence was coming from, just seeing him so open to you had you thinking strange. you opened your mouth and engulfed his dick. sunghoon jerked forward a bit at the sudden warmth and gripped your hair.

“agh fuck, just like that slut.” he groaned. you moaned around his dick and sucked it harshly. his mains turning you on more. as you were about to finger yourself, sunghoon gripped your hair.

“don’t you fucking dare.” he growled. you whined, but didn’t move a muscle. you felt him tensing up indicating he was gonna cum soon and stroked his balls. a few seconds later you felt hot sperm in your mouth.

he let out a drawn moan and slowly let go of you. you took his dick out your mouth and swallowed his cum. he watched you intensely and wiped his cum off your lips. he lifted his fingers towards your mouth. you sucked on them until there was no more left.

he didn’t give you time to speak before you felt yourself being pushed back with your pussy in view for him. you let out a scream when you felt his dick enter you without warning.

he started thrusting into your pussy without giving you time to adjust. your eyes rolled back feeling him deep inside you, “s-sunghoon! oh fuck!” you screamed out. sunghoon just hummed and kissed your cheek.

you suddenly felt another orgasm coming already and wrapped your arms around his neck, “i-i think i’m gonna c-cum.” you stuttered. sunghoon cursed and wrapped his hand around your neck, squeezing it as a warning.

“you cum, i’ll overstimulate you.” he sternly said. you let whined moan. how can you not cum when he’s fucking you so deep? his pace didn’t falter one bit. you felt like it was going to be eternity until he cums.

sunghoon groaned feeling you squeezed around him trying to hold your orgasm. you felt his dick pulsating and before you could let out another word, sunghoon beat you to it.

“cum for me bitch.” he whispered in your ear. you felt your orgasm hit you hard. you mouth fell slack when he took out his dick and stroked it on your stomach until his cum spurred out.

you both let out heavy breathing until sunghoon put on his shirt and jacket. he went to the bathroom and wiped you off before putting on his boxer and pants. he helped you out with your clothing too until you were dressed.

as you both stood there in silence, you suddenly heard someone knocking causing you to jump, “everything good here?” someone asked, it was jake. your eyes widened and you looked over at sunghoon who expression was unreadable.

before you could say something sunghoon went towards the door opening it. jake backed up and looked surprised.

“oh shit, my bad sunghoon. i didn’t know you were in here-“ jake sentence cut off when he saw you behind him, “oh? hey y/n?”

you awkwardly waved. sunghoon looked back at you and turned towards jake. he walked past jake not giving another word out, leaving you there alone and shocked. what the hell?

jake stared at you confused, but you didn’t say anything and went out the room too. you made your way downstairs, but didn’t see sunghoon in sight. as you looked around you saw jay holding hands with a girl walking towards you, “hey y/n! this is-“ “where’s sunghoon?”

jay’s eyebrows furrowed, “oh, uh, i think i saw him leave-“ you didn’t let him finish his sentence and rushed out of the house. you looked around, but didn’t see sunghoon anywhere.

you felt disappointment on your chest and looked to the ground. was he just using you? you took out your phone and looked for sunghoon contact, shooting him a text about his disappearance.

you went back inside the house and told jay you wanted to go home. jay bid his goodbye to his girlfriend and escorted you out to his car.

the whole car ride was silent. none of you guys speaking a word. even when you came back home you left jay in the car and went inside, wanting to sleep.

as you lay in your bed, you sighed and finally let your tears roam free.

you woke up to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. the events of the previous night were still fresh in your mind, and you felt a pang of anxiety as you recalled what happened yesterday sunghoon. you sighed and stretched, trying to shake off the lingering tension.

as you made your way to the kitchen, you found jay sitting at the table, sipping on a cup of coffee. he looked up and gave you a small smile, “morning," he greeted, his tone gentle.

“morning," you replied, trying to muster a smile in return.

jay studied you for a moment before speaking again, “jake told me you and sunghoon seemed upset about something. is everything okay between you guys?"

you felt a lump form in your throat and shook your head, "i don't really want to talk about it right now," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

jay nodded understandingly, “that's okay. you don't have to talk about it if you're not ready." he paused, taking another sip of his coffee, "actually, i was planning to go to the mall today with my girlfriend and jake. we thought it might be fun to hang out and take our minds off things. would you like to join us? it could be like a double date."

you hesitated for a moment, considering his offer. the idea of spending time with friends and getting out of the house sounded appealing, “yeah, i think i'd like that," you agreed, feeling a small sense of relief.

jay's face lit up with a smile. "great! we'll leave in about an hour. take your time getting ready."

you nodded and headed back to your room to change. as you dressed, you couldn't help but think about sunghoon. you hoped that some time apart would give both of you the space to cool down and reflect on what had happened.

an hour later, you found yourself in jay's car, with his girlfriend in the front seat and jake sitting beside you in the back. the drive to the mall was filled with light-hearted chatter and laughter, and you felt your spirits lift as you listened to their banter.

when you arrived at the mall, the four of you wandered through the stores, stopping to browse and try on clothes. jay's girlfriend, hana, was sweet and friendly, and she quickly made you feel at ease. she linked arms with you as you walked, chatting animatedly about the latest fashion trends she took an interest too.

jake kept the mood light with his playful teasing and witty remarks. you found yourself laughing more than you had in days, and the tension from the previous night began to melt away.

at one point, you all stopped at a café for a break. as you sipped on your iced coffee, jay leaned in and gave you a reassuring smile, "i'm glad you came with us today," he said softly, “sometimes, a little distraction is all we need to feel better."

you nodded, feeling grateful for his understanding and support. just as you were gonna say something, your eyes wandered across the room and landed on a familiar figure.

sunghoon was there, sitting at a table with a girl. they were deep in conversation, laughing and smiling, completely absorbed in each other. your heart sank, a cold wave of realization crashing over you. it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, and the once comforting warmth of the café turned into a stifling heat.

as if sensing the your gaze, sunghoon looked up and their eyes met. for a moment, time seemed to stand still. you could see the surprise in his eyes, quickly followed by something else—guilt, perhaps? the girl with him noticed the change in his demeanor and turned to see what had caught his attention.

you quickly looked away, your heart pounding in your chest. the moment of peace was shattered, replaced by a whirlwind of emotions. you stood up abruptly, leaving your half-finished latte behind, and hurried out of the café, the sound of sunghoon's laughter still echoing in their ears. he’s never laughed like that towards you.

the sight of the girls behind, you knew she had to be pretty with the way her hair looked smooth and straight. her clothes fitting her body perfectly. you felt tears in your eyes after finally knowing that sunghoon was just using you.

you walked briskly down the street, your mind racing. you didn't know where you were going; you just needed to get away. the sound of footsteps behind you made you quicken your pace, but a familiar voice called out your name, stopping you in your tracks.

“wait! please, just wait!" sunghoon's voice was breathless, and when you turned around, you saw the desperation in his eyes.

“what do you want, sunghoon?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady despite the turmoil inside.

“i can explain," he said, stepping closer. "it's not what you think. she's just a friend, i swear."

“do you think I'm stupid?" you shot back, anger and hurt lacing your words. "i saw how you were with her."

before sunghoon could respond, you heard another set of voices approaching. jay, hana, and jake appeared, looking concerned.

“what's going on here?" Jay demanded, his eyes narrowing as he looked between you and sunghoon, "why have you guys been acting like this?"

“it’s not what it looks like," Sunghoon started, but jay cut him off.

“then what is it?" jay's voice was rising, and you could see the frustration building. "you two have been acting weird for weeks, and now this? i thought we were friends sunghoon!”

jake stepped forward, trying to defuse the situation, "let's all just calm down and talk about this."

but jay wasn't having it, "no, i want to know the truth. are you two...?" he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment, "there's nothing going on between us, jay. sunghoon and i are just friends. but seeing him with that girl... it hurt."

jay looked at you, his pissed off expression slowly fading slightly, "why didn't you tell me you had feelings for him?"

“b-because i knew you would be mad. and because sunghoon doesn’t like me in that way." you admitted, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. you felt embarrassed and guilty.

sunghoon stepped closer, his eyes filled with regret, "i'm sorry. i never meant to hurt you. i should have been honest."

you look up at sunghoon teary eyed. before sunghoon could step closer towards you, jay cut him off, “get the fuck away from her.”

everyone stared at jay in shock. he’s never cussed at any of his best friends, “i trusted you sunghoon and jake to not go after my sister for so many reasons and that’s the first thing you do? until she explains everything to me from a to z, you’re not coming to my house. you’re not gonna speak to me or her until you get your shit together.” he demanded.

he left without a word while hana followed him. jake stared at both of you pitying before following along. you slowly got up and walked past sunghoon. before you could walk away, sunghoon softly grabbed your wrist.

you met his soft gaze, “i’m sorry for everything.” he whispered. you didn’t say anything and left him alone. it was your turn to walk out on him.

taglist:

@laylasbunbunny @umsivsworld @woofie-nctzen-fanarts

[the-tarot-witch22]

How your future spouse will confess his love for you - Pick a Pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - 5 of swords, 7 of pentacles, judgement and the lovers)

Okay so pile 1, for some of you your future spouse will confess their out of nowhere like so casually you are doing chores, or taking a stroll and he will look at you and just say those three words, making you stumble upon crosswalk or you might have a coughing fit, they will be nervous but they will be putting effort like special dressing for you that day or more styled hair their will be hints for sure, you are like the only one for them, and they won't be letting you go, for some of you a scene where you both are extremely happy and you see each other and are like, okay we need to say that right now and that very moment, the moment will make you overwhelm you with positive emotions for your future spouse, the scenario could be you could be telling each other that on phone, party , grauduation or an event, doing daily things together, for some of you it could be a angry confession or you might like that of confessions like so angry, and you will be confessing i heard "damn it don't you see, what you mean to me, and who tf treats their friend this way", meaning one of you could be completely oblivious and a argument will lead to confession straight outta movie, for some you guys could be in car, or a trip, for some of you, This could also happen when you will be letting go of old past and things that are holding you back, the confession will be like so surety, you won't be second guessing their intentions, they will really mean when they say "i love you", it could also be one of you deciding should i say it first nah, like ego coming in between, like they should be the one saying it lol, some of you would not be able to wait and they will be confessing, i also see a night time or full moon. I also see lots of head pats it might be you or them that likes to do it to their loved ones!

That's all pile 1 this pile had so much energy and also undecisive so i end up picking variety of confession here! but anyways the pile is sweet, and seems like when they say it , they will actually mean it and they don't go around throwing these words to random! as they should! so let's go! wishing you luck when you meet them and they confess to you~

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - 5 of cups, page of pentacles, 6 of wands, 10 of wands, ace of wands and the moon)

Okay so Pile 2 very interesting!This pile could also be overthinker or worry too much about stuff in general, but anyways on to the reading! So what i channel for this pile is for some of you guys, you would be going through a very or hard time or a depressed period of your life or overstressed period of your life, This could be because of work, family or friends situation, but your future spouse will be with you through hard time or not so hard time, reassuring you, but not majority for some of you, they could be reassuring but they will let you know their love, and you will realize it too, but you both or your fs would be wanting a more appropriate time for it, I also some of you could be ill or sick and then they are telling you, that they are in love with you, it will be like nobody will be ever have done that for you and when they do it, you will be quite shocked in a good way, knowing you have a man of your dreams, i also channel a scene where they are feeding you something and they will let you know how much you mean to them, and you will be asking "do you love me" and he says yes. and then the atmosphere becomes romantic than it is, so you will be thanking to be sick or ill, that it led to this, or you could be on some sort of picnic or garden when they confess to you, they will actually be quite creative for their confession, Okay so the majority of you i feel you guys would be getting freaky or physical lol, or it could be a kiss too, and between the make out session they are like in between breaths i love you, and you end up getting intimate with each other, and that's how the confession will go for you and them, after the confession they could be quite protective with you, like kissing you in public showing you two belong with each other, honestly? so freaking sweet, some of you it could be at a celebration or they could be asking you out, trying to be subtle, with you but failing lmao, you could be with intuition be able to figure out they are gonna do something, this pile could also have strong or at least good intuition, and your partner too, the confession will actually transform you both for better, or it could also mean you both will start something deeper with each other, more meaningful! I also channel a book store confession for some of you~

Okay so pile 2! Your pile honestly made me feel butterflies, like they are sweet and thoughtful, they would be 100% sure to win you over after their confession~, so happy for you guys, gave me such a energy boost!

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - The emperor, page of swords, The hermit and the page of cups)

Okay pile 3, let's start with your reading, for some of you, your future spouse will go above and beyond to confess his love for you, like actually an expensive or luxurious confession, I channel a scene where you are on aeroplane and he tells you there while you are going to abroad, many of you will think this is unrealistic, but your future spouse is rich and he will definitely be telling it to you in his own way, and ykw? you guys deserve it! I also feel when the day he confess he is going to gift you a bouquet of flowers or especially red roses and big one at that, with the things you like, and that's how he tell how much he in love with you, and for some of you i channel a scene where you both will be mutually putting efforts with each other, and decide to tell to each other on the same day and IT'S honestly so sweet, i feel so warm and fuzzy while doing your reading guys, For some of you he could be preparing an art date for you both and he will tell you by writing or whispering it in your ears, for some of you , you guys would be embracing your future spouse and giving them a kiss on their cheek, saying it back to them, just like pile 1 you both can also confess on messenger or just online! and later decide to have a date for the special occasion, for some of you, you both could be taking space, to figure out stuff and then you both confess to each other! I also sense a photo album you could be prepring for them, or it's just you prefer to give something handmade to your loved ones! And honestly it's amazing , made me go awwww~!

That's all pile 3, your future spouse is definitely SOMETHING~ hehe, love that for you guys!

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[starryinkart]

[CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY!!!]

(Likes and Reblogs are appreciated!!)

Soooo I was sucked into Poppy Playtime again because of these goobers!! I don’t think I’ve ever posted Poppy Playtime stuff on here before, buttt I think I will now, I just wish the fandom was a bit bigger and more lively lmao 🤣

Catnap is my #1 favorite, then DogDay, then KC, and then Hoppy! I love the others too, but Bubba and Crafty are so hard to draw atm. I just need to practice more with them!😓

{Colorless Lines Below!!}

Headcannons for them below too!!!

———————

Some headcannons in the show universe cause I’m feeling fun:

- Catnap is the youngest! DogDay is the oldest of the crew! Their age order goes (oldest to youngest) DogDay, Bubba, Picky, Kickin, Crafty, Bobby, Hoppy, Catnap!

- Catnap doesn’t talk much, but he can. Just with a low voice that tends to be calming, and very sweet sounding. He usually just points, says short answers like yes or no, and nods.

- While Kickin (or KC) is the most egocentric and confident, Hoppy is the most energetic and tends to like talking people’s heads off, which causes them to butt heads at times, all while Picky tends to be the usual third wheel, often just quietly eating.

- Crafty is the most creative while Bubba is the most thoughtful and intelligent, which usually allows them to have deep, meaningful conversations of the wonders of life together.

-Crafty is the shyest out of the bunch, usually drawing with Catnap calmly, sharing her creations with him or hanging out with Bubba.

- Bobby and Picky tend to share their love for the world together, usually playing dress up with each other, talking about crushes. or cooking of course! Bobby always has something lovely to share and Picky, in contrast to her name, always is open to trying something new, as long as she thinks she may like it.

- In contrast to the canon, all of the crew just magically woke up in the Playcare, with no memories of before they opened their eyes to the colorful world around them. DogDay and Bubba were the first to appear, Picky, Crafty and Kickin spawning after, Bobby and Hoppy spawning together and Catnap spawning alone. There seems to be no way out, so the crew just embraces their situation and tries their best to not think about it too much.

- Catnap was the last and most unexpected to spawn in. From the time he opened his eyes to the new world around him, he had felt like something was off, like he didn’t belong there. While most of the others treated him nice, some of the crew were uneasy about his sudden appearance, seemingly years after the last of the previous arrivals had spawned in.

- Catnap begins to grow close to DogDay, almost becoming like his little brother. They spend the most time together, due to DDs kindness and warm welcoming energy towards him on his arrival! Also them both noticing they wore opposite necklaces, Cat being the moon and DD being the sun helped with that connection too!

- Kickin doesn’t really like or trust Catnap much, and doesn’t try to hide it, making snarky remarks and comments to clearly express his dislike for him.

- Catnap is super playful with the others, his best friends being Dog Day, Hoppy and Crafty! He tends to move like a ghost, the crew not usually noticing they are in his presence until they turn around! A lot of times, he hangs by his tail on the trees to say hello, or can be found in the fields laying in the grass and sleeping.

- Cat can sleep anywhere that is a surface, and is not wet.

- Every once and while, Cat swears he can see a skinny, metallic hand in the shadows, beckoning his attention. He’s tried to bring it up to the others, but they either think he’s acting weird, insane, or tell him not to worry about it.

———————

If you want to hear more, my asks are open!!! And I will be drawing them inbetween my Absolutely Chapters for Murder Drones, which I am STILL working on and Chapter 4 is coming out soon!! Promise, I didn’t forget, things have just been busy!!

ALSOOOOO New Murder Drones Comic for King Solver N coming this weekend 👀👀👀 Perhaps some angst or something fun?

[leviscolwill]

something to give each other

pairing: situationship!jude x reader

summary: jude and you are nothing complicated, until one night when you need him more than anything [wc:~800]

contents: angst & fluff at the same time bc why not + maybe a tiny bit suggestive ? idek if this classify as suggestive tbh

note: ikkk it's very short and that's a shit summary just read pls 😓 if u liked it, lmk by reblogging !!

now playing something to give each other by troye sivan...

you don't know what brought you two together. maybe it was the magnetic energy that he had to him, or maybe it was the way your personalities completed each other perfectly. either way, you found yourself wishing your paths never crossed a bit too often.

you and jude weren't anything serious, it was ‘less complicated’ this way according to him. you hung out with your shared friends and when everyone else was heading home, you would share a uber to his house or yours. it was simple really, you both got what you wanted by the end of the night.

and tonight, you needed him to take your mind off this awful day. you couldn't wait for him to make you forget about those stupid exams and these stupid arguments with your friends.

you didn't take the time to greet him like you usually did before kissing jude's lips, maybe bolder than he expected. his fingers gripped your jaw and forced you to slow down and separate from him.

“what's with you tonight?”, you could only roll your eyes at his comment, small talk being the last thing on your mind tonight. thankfully, your fingers raking the skin under his shirt was enough to shut him up. “i just need you, please jude.”

his eyes closed, it was hard to resist your pleas but your voice had a tone that was different than usual and he didn't want you to do something you might regret later, “no, you need to tell me what's going on, we're not doing anything if you don't.”

“fuck off, you never ask me about anything and suddenly you're interested in what's going on?” you couldn't understand the sudden switch in his behavior, it had always been just sex, why complicate it now? “i just need you to kiss me, take off my clothes, and make me feel good, is this too much to ask for?” you could feel your eyes well up in tears the more you spoke, already frustrated by your day, and not wanting to argue with him.

“it's fine if you don't want to have sex, i'll just text someone else.”, of course you didn't mean a word that came out of your mouth, if anything you would leave and cry yourself to sleep in your bed. jude's thumbs wiped tears that you didn't notice were falling before cupping your face in his hands. his eyes looked into yours in a way you weren't used to, your eyes fell on the floor from the intensity of his gaze, but two of his fingers were already tilting your face up, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

the silence between the two of you was becoming embarrassing, “i'm sorry about… all of this, i'll just go. sorry.” you couldn't even turn your back to him before his hand found your wrist, “you're not going anywhere. stay the night, please.”

you couldn't hide the frown on your face, confused by his words, “but you said you wouldn't…” the boy in front of you dramatically pretended to get offended, “this information might surprise you, but my life doesn't revolve around sex.” the giggles that escaped your mouth brought back a smile on both your lips.

jude's hand brought you to his room, although you knew the way all too well already, the warmth of his hand in yours brought you a sense of comfort that you didn't know you longed for. he handed you a shirt that was probably twice your size but would be perfect to sleep in. you embarrassingly looked around you before asking him to turn around, he complied but laughed his back now facing you.

“i've seen you naked so many times already, you shouldn't care about this love” heat was creeping up your face thinking about what he was hinting at, “s’ just different that's all…” your voice was barely audible, and you couldn't even tell if jude heard your words. you got under his sheets and told him he could turn around, his bed now significantly warmer with him next to you.

even with his eyes shut, jude could tell you were tense laying next to him ramrod straight. you felt his arm around you pull you closer, your face now nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

you felt him shift a bit, and kiss the crown of your hair. the action made you heart skip a beat or two and relax more. you hoped you did a good job at pretending to be asleep because you didn't want to deal with the consequences of his ambiguous gestures in the morning. his fingers slowly stroking your hair were lulling you to sleep for real this time.

jude stopped once he heard your light snores and pressed on one more kiss on top of your head. he didn't let himself fall into the arms of morpheus though, already thinking about how he would fix whatever he started tonight.

[bunny-jpeg]

bets made (and mistakes happened) - a restaurant au

john 'soap' mactavish

cw: restaurant!au, one night stand, smut/pwp, cocky!soap, bets/wagers, dirty talk enemies-to-lovers, (accidental) pregnancy, semi-long

bunny says: like this fic? leave a comment! really like this fic? suggest your own! reblogs are always welcomed!

you could stand toe to toe with whoever got in your way. you REFUSED to be talked down to like a dog. you were a good sous chef, you didn't need the guy who washed the dishes to tell you how to do your job! you could've KILLED john.

and he probably would've let you. he wanted to see those blunt nails of yours dig into his throat. he'd take it as a challenge and give you the same energy. he'd probably grin as you like a madman before he could finally sink his teeth into you. he had been wanting to for years.

so in order to keep some semblance of peace in the kitchen, chef price sent you two out in the back for a smoke. you sat on the milk crate near the door and john pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

"i like yer fire." he said.

"i wish you'd go to hell." you replied.

he chuckled and shook his head, "yer too sweet. i'm surprised you didn't poison me when you had to show tonight's dishes to the rest of staff."

"i didn't expect you to count as staff. it was meant for the other cooks."

he put his hands on his hips, apron on and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth he tilted his head to the side and chuckled, "i'm staff, bonnie. more of the backbone than you are."

you stood up, and got close to him. you were facing each other and painfully close. you plucked the cigarette out of his mouth before you took a inhale of it. he looked at you in shock as you placed it back in his mouth. you turned away from him and said, "how about this, soap. you come to my place, we see who's the better cook."

he stood up a little taller and asked, "what do i get when i win?"

you narrowed his eyes at his words, you amped up the stakes. you replied simply, "i'll let you sleep with me."

the cigarette almost fell out of his mouth from the shock. he soon took it out his mouth and exhaled, "nah, nah. really, what is it?" there was a smile on his face. he leaned in a little bit to you.

"i told you... you, me, sex. do i need to spell it out for you?"

he laughed, "oh yeah. that's a good prize, that sweet cunt." he closed the gap between you two and took your chin in his hand, he held his cigarette in the other, "deal. maybe i can finally put ya in yer place. talkin' big game for such a little girl." he shook his head. he pulled away to have another drag of his cigarette.

-

the first thing you noticed at the end of the week. john 'soap' mactavish didn't taste like an ashtray when he kissed you. currently it was friday night, the only night you two had off, and john had just won your little bet.

he had you up on the kitchen table with his hand spread out on your thigh, pushing up your dress. his lips were on yours and you tried your best to NOT melt into the kiss.

when he pulled away he pressed his forehead to you and said, "how was that?"

"it's a bet, it shouldn't matter how i feel." you replied as you kept your arms around him. his laugh pulled something in you when you were so close to him.

you expected him to make some pasta with packaged noodles and a jar of sauce. you had seen what lunches he brought. but instead in your tiny apartment, he made you a scotch pie with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth the entire time. even with the ash, it was still the best thing you had ever tasted.

he knew he won because you couldn't hide the expression on your face fast enough after the first bite. when he laughed,you hit him then went in for seconds. who would've thought the annoying dishwasher could cook this.

"how?" you asked.

he put a finger over his lips, "family secrets. only shared through marriage, doll."

after the meal, then he took his dessert. his winnings from your bet. and in all fairness, if/when he was going to fuck you, he'd rather he did with after you had a good meal. it was going to be quite the energy waster.

you broke the kiss and looked at him, those big blue eyes stared back at you. you held his face for a moment to stop him from leaning in again. you said, "i'm not fucking on a table i got from goodwill."

he chuckled, "of course, my majesty. would you like for me to fluff the pillows first." then made a noise when you squeezed his face.

"i'm saying because the fucking thing will break." then let go of him. he backed up enough for you to get off the furniture and head towards the bedroom.

he trailed behind you, his cock stood at full attention in his jeans as he get his first glimpse of your bedroom. while he noticed that there wasn't much life to the decor of the walls. he did notice that your bed was unmade and looked very comfy.

but what drew his attention was the sight of you undressing. he watched you zip down the button of the dress. you stepped out of it then quickly got your underwear off. he was barely out of his socks by the time you were naked. your curves glowed under the light of the city outside.

you sighed and approached him, "i guess i have to do everything, huh?"

he was brought back to reality and stepped back, "you don't have to do shit, love. i just need you to lie there and look pretty. if you really wanted to put on a show, make the girls bounce a little." he chuckled as he pulled his shirt over his head. he showed off his lean body and caught you staring a moment before he went to his jeans.

soon both of you were naked, and you led him onto your bed. you kicked the covers further down the mattress as you laid in bed with the other man. you kissed once more trying hard not to fall for him with each linger of his fingertips across your back.

he held you like a protective force, even if his words were often biting. he wanted you. in a carnal, lustful kind of way. the kind that sent shivers down your spine.

his hands roamed your backside, his cock twitched against your thigh as you continued to make out with him. finally that cocky mouth of his was quiet.

you pulled away soon after and placed both hands on his chest. he looked up at your curiously and you gazed down at him. those blue eyes were like dark like rocky seas as you rubbed your knee up against his cock. he hissed through his teeth.

"careful, doll." he said quietly.

you held his face once more and gave him one last kiss before you moved away and got into his lap. your ass rubbed against his cock. the sensation made him exhale deeply to try and hold back a moan.

he placed his tattooed hands on your hips. you always did find his tattoos quite appealing. you did have a dream once where he was shoving those digits inside of your pussy. at the time it made you want to put bleach in your eyes. but now... you were second guessing it.

"like this?" you asked.

"oh yeah. i love a good girl on top." he purred as the two of you began to move your bodies against one another. his eyes closed for a moment as he pressed his head into your pillow. he was drowning in the scent of the strawberry shampoo you used often. he could get whiffs of it at work when you walked by, but to be smothered in it made his cock hard.

you placed your hands on his chest and leaned forward so his cock was pushed inside of you at an angle. you panted which was accompanied by his own heavy breathing.

"feel real good. like a glove." he said, heavy on the accent, "like two pieces the same puzzle. you and i, doll, are meant to be."

"one night." you affirmed.

he chuckled as he dug his fingers further into your hips. he watched you take all of his cock and replied, "that's what they all day." before he started to meet your pace more aggressively.

the bed creaked from your movements. the heavy thrusting of sex in the cramped room of your one bedroom apartment. you funded this life through cooking and you got out cooked by a dishwasher.

you should hang the apron up already!

the thought made john smirked as he felt his cock deep inside of you. he wondered for a moment if you could still run a kitchen while caring for his brats. but that thought was pushed away from the intense rush of pleasure through his body. made his head feel full as he got closer to orgasm.

"shit, soap. ah." you moaned.

he gave your ass a slap and chuckled, the sweat dripped down his back, "you can't get enough of me. you just love it so much. you love me."

you groaned, "in your dreams." the sex was amazing. you could feel the sweat on your brow as you rutted against him. your nails dug into his pecks as you moved.

he hissed through his teeth and drove his cock deeper into you. he could feel his heart hammering in his chest. nothing like a feisty chef to get his blood pumping! with a spark on inspiration, he took you by the hips and rolled you onto your stomach.

he lifted your hips up with ease and pounded away at your cunt with vigor. the angle took the air out of your lungs, you could feel his ramming against sensitive areas. your legs were practically in the air!

the angle was amazing for both of you and soon you were gripping onto the mattress under your head.

"who would've thought scotch pie would've let me fuck ya." he laughed as he scratched at your hips due to the force he was holding you.

"shut up!" you whined as your back arched. with a few more stokes of his cock, you both came. your mind went blank. you came so hard that you honestly forgot that he wasn't wearing a condom and had dumped a bunch of his scottish seed into your aching cunt.

this wouldn't be a problem later, right?

-

a month later you're sitting on top of the toliet with a pregnancy test in hand. your hand over your mouth as you watched the test read positive.

for a second you tried to rationalize that it COULDN'T have been john who got you pregnant. not that blue-eyed, mohawk having, smug dishwasher! but you sure as hell weren't pregnant before your night together.

you pulled your hand away from your face and putt he test down on the counter. you cupped your middle and sighed. you had no choice but to tell john about it. he was going to find out eventually.

you sent him a text message, 'soap. need to talk. urgent." then put the phone down. instantly you were on the phone with him, when you heard his voice you broke down. the normally cocky john sounded sincere as he asked what was wrong. you composed yourself for a moment and wiped your eyes and said, "you are your stupid scottish cock got me pregnant."

there was silence on the other end for a moment. he then said, "anythin' ya need, doll. it's yours."

you swallowed and replied, "you and some more scotch pie." you felt your heart do a somersault.

"ay." he said, "already got the scottish in ya."

xoxo, bunny (might do a sequel, let me know!)

[sugarushwriting]

from this idea/request

your dream job.

working with a boy kpop group as a marketing newbie.

they came to the united states for tour. you were excited to work for the one and only stray kids.

𐒡𝛫𝛧

not proofread. please like, comment, reblog! do not repost or translate, tysm!!

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

you could barely contain your excitement. even 2 weeks later and 4 shows later. you don’t think you’d ever get over the fact you are literally working with the stray kids.

you didn’t care if your job was to double check and make sure catering was okay. or if the wardrobe designers had everything they needed. or ran errands for food or other supplies.

it was all worth it to be able to be in close proximity with the stray kids.

your korean language knowledge lacked, however the boys were good speaking in english and hearing you talk in your native language. you once even apologized to them because you couldn’t communicate with them in their language. even with simple words.

bang chan and felix looked at you like you had two heads and said to never apologize for that. it seemed the other boys didn’t mind either.

you all communicated well enough to make sure everyone was on the same page.

right now you were carrying 2 big plastic bags and 2 drink carriers to the guys’ dressing room while they waited for press conference in boston.

opening the door softly, you bowed and walked in quietly as each boy was doing their own thing.

han was singing, lee know harmonizing. hyunjin and felix playing a game on their phone. seungmin and i.n. was napping. changbin and bang chan deep in conversation.

you were just surprised more chaos wasn’t happening right now.

changbin and bang chan immediately saw you carrying everything and rushed to get up to help you.

“here, let us help.” changbin said in his cute english accent.

“we could’ve went and got our own take out.” bang chan smiled taking the drinks.

“it’s fine, part of the job.” you awkwardly replied.

“thank you so much!” felix smiled pausing his game with hyunjin.

you turned around to leave the boys, as your supervisor would yell at you for spending too much time lingering.

even though the boys (all 8) have even told you they didn’t mind company.

they loved their u.s. staff.

“do you want to join us? we got extra.” bang chan asked. what you didn’t recognize in his tone was hope.

he was hoping you would say yes. but frowned when you shook your head politely. “i wish i could, but i should go see if my boss needs me for anything else.” you smiled and walked out of the dressing room.

your smile could melt bang chan.

what you didn’t know, was that bang chan started to enjoy your company. the first day he met you, newbie to this industry and work, he loved the brightness your energy brought.

he wanted to call you sunshine in a nickname, but was scared to see how you would react.

him having a crush on staff? fine, okay.

but he knew you were probably drilled to not even look twice in their direction in that way or else you’d be terminated.

he didn’t want to ruin this opportunity for you.

but he also wanted you. sexually? maybe. but even more so, just wanted to spend more time with you.

and he would find a way.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

and bang chan did.

he had texted your personal cell asking for you to bring him something as he felt nauseous and had a headache.

it was rare bang chan asked for anything. at least, from what you observed.

so the fact he texted your personal cell rather than your work cell, your stomach dropped thinking something was truly wrong with him.

you even texted him back asking if you should bring back up, and he had said no.

bang chan: no, i just need you

bang chan: and the stuff i asked for, yeah

bang chan’s ears got red at the thought of the first text message and how it could be interpreted.

he waited anxiously in his private hotel room, pacing back and forth waiting for your knock.

what if you got the stuff but handed it off to security to bring to him? dang it, he should’ve been more specific that he wanted you to hand it directly to him.

light knocks came to the door, and he smiled knowing it was you being polite, even with knocking on a door.

he opened it, seeing your worried face, and you pushed passed him.

“are you okay bang chan?” you asked frantically and took everything out the bag that could hopefully help him.

bang chan couldn’t get sick and you would do everything you could to help that.

in reality, bang chan was fine.

“just feeling a bit queasy.” he says with a fake frown. “no matter how much traveling we do, being in different time zones so many times do get to us.”

“i bet!” you turned to him finally seeing him. he was dressed in black sweatpants, black sleeveless shirt and house slippers.

those fucking muscles. you could literally drool at the sight. heck, you probably were. you had to blink rapidly to get your mind right.

“yes, right,” um you stuttered, noticing bang chan smiling. “i—i should go now.”

“stay for a while?” he asked, his question thick with his aussie accent.

“i don’t know—,”

“please? just for one movie at least?”

was this appropriate? probably not. you could potentially get fired. but couldn’t you also get fired if you left your client unhappy?

you’d do anything to make the boys happy. anything. and you knew if you truly didn’t want to, they wouldn’t make you.

the thing is—you wanted it all.

bang chan hoped you would agree. but he wouldn’t hold you hostage if you said no.

please say yes, he internally begged.

you nodded, “okay.”

thankfully, you were dressed in comfy clothes because when he had texted you, you ran to the nearest convenience store in panic.

his room was big enough to have two big comfy chairs that had sight of the television on the wall.

“what kind of movies do you enjoy?”

“anything in mind yourself?” you asked.

“how about the new marvel movie?”

“sounds good to me!” you smiled and hugged your knees close to your chest getting comfy on the chair as he got comfy on the other chair next to you.

if bang chan was bold enough, he would’ve asked if you wanted to watch the movie while laying in bed.

but would that be too bold? he can hear some members say, ‘not bold enough!’

how bold should he be with you? he did some lurking and found your personal social accounts. before you deleted any evidence, he found that you were a fan of theirs.

although he joked saying fans needed to touch some grass, he needed to touch some grass.

he saw the thirsty posts you had made of him before deleting. that’s why he wore the sleeveless shirt.

going shirtless would be too much too soon.

bang chan was restless during the entire movie and you noticed quickly.

you got up and grabbed some of the medicine and pedialyte from the bag. “here take this. you’re restless!”

“oh, um thank you.” he smiled timidly and took the the one pill and drunk the pedialyte.

“maybe that’ll help.” you smiled sitting back down.

“i think I should lay down?” he asked more in a question rather than a statement.

“ok, i’ll leave you be.” you smiled and stood back up.

“no, can you stay? um, just make sure i don’t vomit in my sleep?” bang chan wanted to cringe so badly at his own pleading.

“don’t you sleep naked?” you blurted without much thought and he laughed.

“yeah i do, but i can stay dressed for you.” he winked.

oh this flirt. this mister, ‘i don’t know how to flirt.’

should you stay?

“yes, you should stay.” he said and you wanted to slap yourself as you found that you said that out loud.

bang chan got comfy in bed, turning off the television. he patted the empty spot next to him. you hesitated but remembered technically he’s your boss too.

the thought of sleeping with your boss? your celebrity crush who’s your boss? amazing.

you sat next to him and you two got in comfortable conversation. it started with him asking how did you know you wanted a job like this and you replied it started in your teen years with the 17-magazine and teen vogue magazines wanting to be around celebrities and get to know them better.

like isn’t it fun to be able to interview your favorite popular artists?

as time you went on, you suddenly yawned and looked at the clock on the hotel nightstand.

“shit! it’s almost 1 am!”

bang chan laughed. “well, our show isn’t until the day after tomorrow,”

“you mean today? the day after today?”

“no. it’s not today until we sleep then wake up. regardless of time.”

you looked at him with interest. “that’s an interesting way to put it.”

“either way, we sleep, we wake up, we have nothing to do so we can sleep in.”

“well depends if my boss needs me to do anything.”

“i can tell her to give you a day off. say i need you as my personal assistant.”

you laughed. “personal assistant in what? keeping you company.”

bang chan blushed. “maybe.” he replied quietly with a smile.

“i can do that.” you replied.

was chan flirting with you? or was he just being his usual self?

no, this seemed like flirting. you doubt he’d just ask anyone for that.

“well i can keep you company whenever we wake up.”

“and tonight. while we sleep?” bang chan stared at you, his brown eyes looking at you with hope.

“sleep?” you choked out nervously. sleep? with? bang chan?

you could literally combust.

“i don’t have sleep clothes?” you questioned.

“i can lend you something if you need, unless you sleep naked too?”

you bit your bottom lip. should you do this?

“please? i won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. if you don’t want me to touch you, i wont. i—i just really like your company.” bang chan admitted shyly.

how could you say no to that? “okay.” you smiled.

what you wish you could tell him was, ‘yes! touch me! i’ll sign an additional nda!’

you got into bed next to bang chan, after dressing in a plain black oversized stray kids shirt he gave you. you denied needing any pants as it would just make you restless in your sleep.

the shirt covered all that needed to be covered.

you both laid in bed, facing each other with nervous smiles.

“we should get some sleep.” you said with a yawn.

“yeah, we should.”

you and bang chan stayed up until 6 am that morning.

[writefightandflightclub]

Ride or Die (Santiago “Pope” Garcia x fem!reader): Chapter Seven (of 11 - COMPLETED SERIES)

Series summary: Together, you and Santiago have been “soldiers” then “friends” then “lovers”; but will you ever figure out what comes next, especially when Santiago can’t (or won’t) stop running? 

Genre: a LOT of angst, (some) smut, best friends to… lovers?

Warnings: see collated series warnings, here. Please note this series is 18+. Minors or ageless blocks interacting will be blocked.

Series info: this is a COMPLETED SERIES. All chapters are written and queued. Posting schedule is here (includes series master list). 

Author’s note: Phew! Well, the last couple of chapters were a lot, hey? I wonder what will happen next, tee hee! As always, I would be super grateful for any comments / reblogs / asks you may wish to send my way. You give me life! ILY :-*

Word count: 8.6k for this part. 

Tag list info: will reblog separately tagging those on taglist. You can request to be added to taglist if you are 18+. Send me an ask, please, so I can keep track :)

“Hey,” you croak, as Frankie cracks the door to your room, finding you laying in the glum light. You’re on top of the covers and hugging your pillow to your chest, body curled around the white mass like you’re trying to form a human s’more.  

Of course, you can’t sleep. You’re just slumped there, despondent, blinking into the crow black dark. Your tears have subsided, at least. But you feel sapped. Like you barely have any energy to feel anything anymore. 

“Hey,” Frankie returns, dipping the mattress as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Benny send you?” You had insisted Benny go and get some shut eye, after comforting you for the better part of half an hour. There were hugs and warm tea and threats to handle Pope if he’d done something to deserve it. He hadn’t, you’d explained. He hadn’t done a damn thing worse than you, at least.  

“Negative.” 

You hum neutrally and scooch your body up so that you’re sitting with your back to the headboard, knees drawn up around the pillow you still cling to like a security blanket. 

“I’m gonna say something, okay?” Frankie says firmly, and you brace, fully expecting to receive some tough love. You note with relief, however, that as the man turns his head towards you, his eyes are nothing but soft. “You and me. We’re going back to your sister’s tomorrow. Get you some space.” 

Space from him. That much is implied. 

“No, Frankie.” Your throat tightens. All you’ve had is space. For months. The last thing you need is more. 

He places a hand on your knee, his tone firm and almost paternal. He’s going to make a damn good father, you think, with a swell of pride. “That’s what we’ll do. It’s not going to be like this anymore. We’re gonna stop taking chunks out of each other.” 

All you had wanted to do was to be close again. You’d never meant-

“-Frankie.” 

“Just think about it.” 

You nod, and Frankie pats your knee. Stifles a yawn. Presses the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. He looks wiped. With a gust of breath he stands, preparing to leave. “G’night, chiquita. Get some rest, alright?”

“Yeah. And Frankie?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m sorry, by the way.” 

“What for?” 

You sweep your hand through the air. “For the drama. Et cetera.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“Do you know…” You cast a sidelong glance towards the black pane of the window. “Is… he coming back?”

The man drags his tongue along his lip. He does that when he’s uncertain. “He’ll be back.” 

“How do you know?” You don’t remember the last time you felt or sounded so small.  

“Because he’s a fucking glutton for punishment,” Frankie attempts a lopsided smile, his cheek tugging on the corner of his mouth; but it drops when he realises his joke hasn’t landed. “Just… try to get some rest. Okay?”

You nod, and you watch Frankie leave, his face murky but kind through the shadows as he gently tugs your door closed behind him. 

When he’s gone, you wait a moment for his footsteps to retreat and then you cross to the window, cracking it open far enough that you can hear the gentle shush of the waves. Far enough that you could hear either the sound of a truck pulling away in the dead of night, or the front door clicking gently closed, perhaps. 

You lie back on top of the bed covers, flat on your back, and your limbs stretched out like a starfish. You lie with your eyes open, staring at the ceiling - exhausted, but wide awake. 

And, after who knows how long like this, you hear footsteps tramping on to the porch. You hear the front door gently being latched, and the soft pad of someone travelling up the stairs. You hear the footsteps pause outside of your door for a moment and you hold your breath. You imagine an outstretched fist, primed to knock, but you dismiss this as wishful thinking. You’ve done a lot of that lately. Too much. 

Then, finally, you hear him shuffle into his room, clicking the door shut behind him. 

Only then - when you know he’s back - can you sleep. 

And, as you drift off, your thoughts of him merge with the soporific sounds of the waves. 

You’d doubt, with how much you’ve ached for him already, that you could hurt anymore, but you know fine well that it’s possible. After all, the waves break over and over, don’t they? 

They break, and they break, and they break. 

***

The following morning is an awkward affair. Everyone is tetchy, and even after a very necessary lie-in, residual grumpiness abounds. 

It figures. A shouting match and a rude awakening will do that. 

Still, the day must go on. You get knocked down? You keep moving. 

Will, ever an early riser and a true hero, brews up the first pot of coffee. Starts cooking up some breakfast, and, one by one, you and the boys filter downstairs, chasing the scent of sustenance. 

“Don’t even,” you say to Tom the moment he opens his mouth, the room falling silent as you waddle sleepily downstairs, gravitating straight towards the caffeine and the relative safety of Will. Frankie, Benny, and Tom are sat around the dining table, and, you note -because of course you do- that Santiago is glaringly absent. 

Maybe Frankie advised him not to come downstairs just yet. Perhaps he’s simply sulking. Or sleeping. Or avoiding you. Perhaps, maybe, possibly a million and one things, which you’ll never know the reasoning behind. 

It doesn’t even matter now. 

You’re done trying to figure him out. Since when did that ever get you anywhere useful? 

Instead then, you attempt to refocus. To divert your attention away from your sun, and towards the wider constellation of stars you are proud to call your squad. And, of course, to your plate of breakfast - that deserves attention too. 

The one thing you refuse to focus on, for the moment, is the elephant in the room. 

Still, you glance -briefly- towards the mouth of the stairs. 

“What else is new with you then, Benny boy? Seeing anyone?” You reach for just about the only topic you hadn’t covered with him yesterday evening - when you had been trying ever so valiantly to distract yourself from Santiago and all that he entails. 

In response, his baby blues dance with mischief and he grins, raising one arm to pop a bicep in celebration even as he shovels forkfuls of scrambled eggs into his mouth with the other. “I had myself a date the other night.” He probably flexes in his sleep, this man. 

“She stay for breakfast, Benjamin?” Frankie interjects, finally managing to be vocal again now that he’s been provided with the sweet hit of his second mug of caffeine. 

“‘Catfish. She was breakfast.” 

You hear Will groan from over at the stove. “Too much information, Ben.” 

Ben, meanwhile, looks entirely unapologetic. 

“Whatever happened to being a gentleman, huh? The way your Granny raised you?” Tom enquires with a thin smile. “Thought gentlemen didn’t kiss and tell.” 

“Oh, but I was a gentleman, Redfly. Let her finish first ‘n’ everythin’.” Benny offers a shit-eating grin, and you are once again grateful for the distraction as the room descends into fond bickering, the back-and-forth culminating in Will whipping his sibling with a rolled tea towel for continuing to overshare, accidentally catching Tom in the crossfire. 

“Those dirty-minded individuals asked the questions, man,” Benny defends, jabbing his finger around in a circle at the rest of you in accusation. “They always wanna know what action I’m getting. Hell, no-one ever asks me what I’m readin’.” 

You snicker. 

You glance -briefly- towards the mouth of the stairs. 

“Of course not. We’re trying to live vicariously through you, man,” Tom interjects. “We don’t want to vicariously read things.” 

“Especially not the pretentious shit you read, Benjamin,” Frankie digs, before collecting up the plates and conveying them over to the sink. And, given a natural lull in the conversation, Benny takes the opportunity to grab your attention. 

“You still up for training later, hon? I’m tabled for a beastly session this afternoon.” 

It briefly crosses your mind to wonder where Benny gets his abundance of energy. You, on the other hand, can’t even be bothered to trace that train of thought through to completion. “Yeah. Maybe, Ben. I, uh, need to drive into town this morning though.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, with a mouthful of streaky bacon, swivelling his cap to sit backwards on his head as though that will help him pay better attention to you. 

You glance once more -only briefly, of course- towards the mouth of the stairs. 

“Mmm-hmm. Need to grab something from the pharmacy.” You blink, attempting to look as innocent as possible, but your face burns with a flare of heat, and you can’t help but scratch your nose self-consciously. 

You feel as though they all know the purpose of your trip - somehow - even though that’s impossible. And, you pray that even if they do, that they will at least have the courtesy to let it slide. 

Unfortunately though, you suddenly remember that Tom exists, and that therefore, you’re likely not getting away with it that easy. 

“You and Pope all out of condoms or something?” he guffaws around the lip of his coffee mug as he takes a deep swig. 

“Tom,” Frankie warns, subtly shaking his head as he comes to retake his seat by you. 

Oddly though, Tom’s comment barely even manages to irk you. You pat your defender on the arm. “Frankie. I’m fine.” 

He surveys you regardless, to be sure, and you are grateful for it. Frankie knows fine well that Tom has a talent for rubbing you up the wrong way. The two of you have never quite seen eye to eye. 

“See, she can handle herself just fine,” Tom reminds him pointedly. He never did like the way the rest of the boys fussed so damn hard over you. His tone has the veneer of light-heartedness. “You can take a joke, right?” 

Your lips twitch around some halfway cruel retort, but, turns out, you truly have no ire left today. You’re all out - and besides, you’re not looking to burn any more bridges than you have already on this trip. 

“Listen,” you begin sincerely, cradling your mug of coffee between your palms. Deciding to nip this in the bud before it spirals. “Are we good, Tom? I was a little bit hot-tempered yesterday. I’m sorry.” 

Once again, you glance towards the mouth of the stairs. Your gaze lingers a fraction longer this time, until it ticks back to Tom. 

He looks at you levelly for a moment over the rim of his mug, before his brown eyes begin to shine with a dull, metered-out warmth. Nothing like the warmth of your sun, of course, but shining on your more brightly than Tom had deigned to in a long while, at least. “Sure we are. So long as you don’t wake me up in the middle of the night again. I need my beauty sleep.”

You hold your palms up in rare surrender. “You got it.” 

“What was all that about, anyway?” Tom needles, shuffling forward in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. Beside you, you can sense Frankie and Benny ready to knock him back should he dare to overstep. You wonder suddenly if you’re too harsh on the guy. If you need to loosen off, be a little kinder. 

You wrap both hands more tightly around your coffee now, letting the warmth bleed through into your interlaced fingertips and the steam rise under your chin. “The usual,” you dismiss, not wanting to go into specifics. That would involve replaying it all. Would call for a digging out of the shrapnel lodged in your chest - an activity far too involved to undertake alongside a lazy breakfast. “Sometimes a storm is what it takes to clear the air, right?”  

“And?” Tom cranes forwards a little more. You clock Frankie’s nostrils flaring subtly in annoyance. “Is the air clear now?”

You know what Tom’s asking. Was anything resolved? Are you two done? 

Is all this over? 

Apparently curious, all three of the men direct their gaze toward you, keenly awaiting your answer. You even reach for one -an answer- but you come up lacking, and your uncertainty carves a notch into your brow. Makes your mouth go dry. Your gaze flicks to the mouth of the stairs, and this time, you can’t look away from it. “I…”

Thankfully, unfortunately, you are saved and damned all at once as Santiago finally appears. Emerging from the spot you’ve been glancing intermittently at all through breakfast. 

All the faces in the kitchen turn abruptly towards him as his careless footfalls sound out, and suddenly his eager skip down the stairs entirely loses steam. His pace slows, dragging to a dead halt by the time he has reached the base of the stairs. 

Your eyes go as wide as they can, through no fault of your own, and despite being the focus of the whole group’s attention, Santiago stares straight ahead at you. Of course he does. Only you, as though there is no-one else in the room to acknowledge.

“Morning,” he addresses, solely to you, his expression impassive, yes - but certainly not harsh. Not angry. 

“Morning,“ you respond, as brightly as possible, your eyes still wide and unblinking, and it is a little unnerving as every other head in the room swivels simultaneously around to face you. Oh good. Because you’d worried this might be awkward. You unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth. “Will has bacon,” you offer stiffly, your whole body so full of tension it feels brittle; like it could snap. 

As if the product of some hive mind, the heads swivel in unison back towards Santiago. He doesn’t drop his gaze from you, however. Doesn’t even blink - just looks between your left eye and right repeatedly. “Fabulous. Thanks.” 

Sure. Okay. This is totally normal. Except… you don’t think you’ve ever heard Santiago describe something as “fabulous” in his life. But why not start now, hey? This is fine. 

You watch him turn. Walk towards Will and the stove top, and when his gaze finally drops from yours it is like the taut line which was drawn across the room finally snaps, blissfully allowing some of the tension to sag with it. 

“Good timing, Garcia. Here.” Will doesn’t miss a beat, transferring the spatula into Santiago’s hand and shuffling him seamlessly into his position before he can clock what’s happening. “I’m officially passing the torch of Breakfast Duty into your capable hands.“ 

“Uh. Sure,” Santiago obliges, obediently beginning to move the sizzling strips around the pan as Benny stands, already crowding him to jostle for seconds. Will slaps the waffled tea towel across Santiago’s shoulder for good measure too, and you die a little inside at how goddamn domestic he looks. Especially since he’s still wearing his fluffy sheepskin slippers. Rocking his bedhead of gently tousled, greying curls. 

It makes you yearn. 

“Want a ride into town, soldier?” Will calls to you across the space, jutting his chin up at you and snapping you from your stupor. Immediately, you scrape your chair back, the gentle throb of nerves making you eager to animate. Eager to jump on any excuse to get the hell out of there. 

“Yes! Please!” 

You scoop up your plate and cutlery, and you attempt to take Frankie’s to the sink too. That is, until he protectively winds his arm around it like a bear defending its cub and begins actively batting your hand away. You guess he wants second helpings too. 

You sidle over to the stove then, where Santiago is dedicating himself to his latest occupation with vigour, Benny equally invested in hovering with his empty plate - and not above begging for scraps. 

“Where to in town?” Santiago asks in a hushed voice, his thick eyebrow arcing. You dismiss your plate into the dish bowl to soak, and he pauses his spatula duties momentarily to await your response. 

“Pharmacy.” You look at him pointedly. 

His face crumples with something resembling apology. Or - perhaps more likely - regret. “Okay.”

Your eyes lock for a moment, and he looks so different to you this morning than he had in the dead of the night. It is more than the gentle morning sun giving a soft glow to his features, the dusting of late summer freckles on his nose popping in the light. It is more than the wholesome appearance of him cooking up breakfast. More than the hush in his tone, and the way his chin dips down, making his eyes look big and round and gentle as he looks at you from beneath his long sweep of lashes. 

You suspect that he is purposefully making himself soft. Blunting his harsh edges so deliberately and so entirely that you fear he will sluice to the floor like the insides of a cracked egg. “You, uh… You need anything? Need me to…?” 

Santiago. Honey. You’ve done quite enough already. 

“No,” you say, but the word doesn’t audibly make it out the first time around. You clear your throat. “No. Thank you.”

“Okay.” 

Your gaze dips to the dried, rogue fleck of toothpaste right on the corner of his mouth. You can’t explain why, but this tiny, human detail makes your chest ache. “Talk later?” 

He forces his sober expression to twist into a halfway smile. His eyes grow big and earnest, that cup of coffee gaze gently warming you. “Okay.” 

Don’t, you inwardly plead with him. Don’t give me hope. Don’t break me again, Santiago. 

A niggle plays at your brow. It’s odd, really. You remember the words and venom spat from each of your mouths yesterday. Of course you do. But you can no longer feel the all-consuming ire that came along with them. That part -that feeling- is absent. Every scrap of anger consumed. It seems as alien to you as the raging storm must feel to the clear morning which follows. 

And so, you can’t help it. Really can’t help it. You dip forwards to kiss Santiago, softly. Right on the point of his beautifully high cheekbone, giving his tea-towel adorned shoulder a light squeeze. 

You leave, then, to the sight of that subtle crimson flush darkening his cheeks, your gesture evidently both confounding and flustering him. 

You leave too, to the sound of Benny yelling “Look alive, Pope! Don’t burn my goddamn bacon!”. The spatula has gone limp in his hand as Santiago’s gaze trails after you, and the tension is once again pulled taut like a string across the room. You imagine a festival of blush red balloons tied all along it, rising and dancing like your hope. 

You leave, with an answer to Tom’s question. 

You and Santiago? Is it over? 

No. It’s not done.

But you are done with being angry. 

You’re done breaking, and no longer will you throw yourself against those rocks. 

***

The time away from the house was useful, and the scenes of the open coast slipping by smoothed your roughened edges out like a tossed, worn pebble. The salt-saturated air humming through your wound-down window had you drinking in deep, energising lungfuls. Then, there was Will’s steady, reassuring drawl, and all the feelings of security that came along with it. 

Steady, dependendable, straightforward Will. You always knew where you stood with him. 

At least, that’s who he had always been to you. Not the volatile, ticking time bomb you’d heard he’d become since he’d gotten out. Since he’d almost choked a man out in the tinned produce aisle. 

It was good to have time to talk with him. You were endlessly glad to hear the ways Will was moving forward. You were glad -first and foremost- for him, of course; but you couldn’t deny it bolstered your own hope too. To know that there was a route out? A path onward - even when some things attempted to drag you back? It felt good. 

Speaking of things which dragged you to them, you were also grateful that Will didn’t press you (too much) on Santiago-shaped matters. In fairness, at this point the whole squad is probably sick to death of the topic. Regardless though, it was refreshing to talk about other things. About Will’s new life. His bizarro public speaking gig. His worry for Benny, as an unfailingly attentive and loyal big bro. His insistence that the “kid” is not living up to his full potential. 

Benny’s doing fine, you had assured him. Benny’s… buoyant. 

So, in sum, it was safe to say that despite everything, by the time you had arrived back to the house you’d felt decompressed. It made you wonder if - maybe - last night’s storm really had succeeded in clearing the air. Of course, that depended on Santiago too, and where he was at today. Whether he had any more drama brewing, up in that pretty head of his. 

From his vibe this morning though? You had gotten the sense that he was oh so tired too. 

It didn’t change anything of course. The fighting. The fucking. Not really. Not any of it. The anger, once given its release valve, had simply moved through you like weather. It had turned out, it was all mostly bluster. Ephemeral. Shifting. And it couldn’t touch the truth of things, could it? The permanence and depth of your love for him? Not really. 

It did change something in you though, that unforgiving storm. If nothing else, it had made you acutely aware of how powerless you are. Your weather cannot move the mountains, and Santiago is as stubborn and immoveable as a wall of rock.

You’d believed, at one time, that perhaps you could succeed in shifting him. Encouraging him. Convincing him.

But now you know for sure. 

The only way he’s running into your arms is of his own accord. In his own good time. 

When he’s ready.

If he ever is, of course; ready. And on that topic, you’re less and less sure that he ever will be. That Santiago will ever be ready to be loved by you. 

It’s sad in one way to realise that. But in another way, it’s freeing. To give up. To stop trying to shape things into what you’d hoped they could be, and to simply let things be whatever they are. To make peace with the truth of things. And peace? It may sound counterintuitive, but as a soldier, peace is all you’d ever really wanted. 

Perhaps that’s why you feel calm as you pace down the track back to the house. Why there’s a spring in your step as you fix up a sandwich for yourself and Will, heading out across the dunes to where the boys laze by that frilled edge of ocean. Perhaps you feel calm because you really have exhausted all of your options. 

Because there’s truly nothing else you can do. 

Because it’s out of your control. 

Because you cannot move mountains. 

And so, when you join the group and Santiago flashes you a tentative and oh so pure smile? You return it easily this time. 

You can’t change yourself and how you feel. You’ve tried that. You certainly can’t change him. You’ve tried that too. 

And… why would you want to, anyway, huh? To change him? In so many ways, you think, as you watch his rich, scratchy laugh bob in his throat, and see those delicious crinkles radiate from around his eyes, he’s perfect exactly as he is. 

After all, he’s your best friend. 

And, for the remainder of the afternoon, you simply want to focus on that. 

For today, you reckon you’ll simply have to try to see him in pieces. In fragments. 

You don’t want to admit to yourself that’s the only way you can make it through, but when you do realise, it strikes you. If you too find it hard to reconcile who he’s always been to you with all that he could be, then maybe you and he never were so different after all. 

He certainly could never grasp all of you at once, could he?

***

The rest of the day passes pleasantly - much to everyone’s relief, you suspect. After the card games wrap up, there is plenty more entertainment to be had. There is time whiled away goofing around with a football and a frisbee. There’s a grill session on the dunes and chilled beers and music. When the heat becomes too sticky, too intense, there are sea swims and splashing around in the waves and everyone trying to dunk Benny. There’s solitary time too. Time for sunbathing and reading and podcasting and naps; and, in between, there is the cyclical eruption and waning of amiable chatter - whenever someone sparks up with a talking point.

In sum, you all opt to just be with each other. No particular agenda in mind, and it feels good. Really good. 

You’ve missed them all. Hell, even Tom, though you’d never tell him that to his face. 

The stretch of beach you’ve claimed is stunning too. The sands are golden and fine-grained and the water is perfectly temperate; but, it’s a hidden gem, the patch not attracting a fraction of the stifling crowds you’d find along the main drag. Throughout the day, other people come and go, of course. There’s the family with the adorable little kids, for example. The little boy, in particular, who had seemed to take a real liking to Benny - and who’d even roped him into helping build sandcastles. You’d watched, fondly, as each of your squad’s faces had split with wholesome, eye-swallowing grins at the adorableness of it all. There was the lone woman who spent 45 minutes giving you evil eyes - apparently, you’d deducted, for daring to be surrounded by five attractive men. You’d even suspected she might march over and punch you at one point, judging from the hate seething in her eyes when Will had asked you to slather-up his milky-white back with his trusty factor 50. 

Mostly though, it had stayed pretty quiet, and you and the boys had more or less had the beach all to yourselves. 

Various members of the group would filter off every now and again, of course. To replenish supplies, grab a new book, or buy an ice cream from the truck which pulled up. But, there had always been a core contingent remaining, even as the intensity of the day’s heat had begun to burn off, replaced with a softer, gentler, and more oranged glow. 

Perhaps that’s why you didn’t realise it, until it had already happened.

That by now, you and Santiago were alone. 

You look up from your book and all of a sudden, you are the only one left lounging on the blankets. You look out to the water, and Santiago is the only figure to be found there too, currently floating on his back, bobbing over each gentle, orange-frilled wave which laps up to the shore. 

Christ. When did it get so late? 

Santiago must realise the predicament at a similar moment to you, you think, as by the time you have finished swivelling your head to scan the sands for signs of anyone else -finding no-one but a distant dog walker- he has already begun to wade out of the water. 

It is something you have watched him do so many times today, but now that it is just the two of you, this time it hits just a little different. This time, you notice him. Really notice him. Can’t help it. You watch him rise out of the water in the golden glow of the descending sun, and shake the rivulets of water from his darkened, wetted curls. See his tan chest emerge first, the colour in his shoulders a deeper, richer brown already from a day soaking up the sun. That silver chain of his swinging and glinting in between his smooth, shapely pecs. And, you note the soft cushion of his tummy swelling over the waistband of his swim shorts, the garment sodden and clinging tightly to his ample hips and thighs. Even slipping down just a little as he wades from out of the water, revealing a hint of his happy trail as he beelines directly towards where you lay. 

Your stomach twists with a deep, hot yearning, and you are grateful that you have at least a moment to compose yourself before he arrives, sea-shined and dripping, at your now deserted camp. You have the wherewithal, at least, to throw him a towel as he reaches you, trying not to stare (too much) as he begins to dry himself off. 

“Thanks,” he offers, with a lazy flash of teeth, and you unconsciously rearrange yourself, very suddenly aware - now that you’re alone - that you are stripped right down to your flimsy bikini. 

You see a swallow sink down Santi’s corded throat as his eyes skim down the length of you, but he is quick to obscure it. He’s still playing nice. Softening himself, you think. 

With a laugh as roughly hewn as driftwood, he flicks some water at you after scrunching his hand through his sodden curls, spraying cold flecks across the bare expanse of your belly, causing you to tense and squeal. His shoulders shake with gentle mirth, and, once he’s towelled off and wrung out his shorts a little, he spreads his towel out next to you, parking his ample ass down. 

“Didn’t feel like a swim? The water’s nice.” 

“Nah.” 

His head swivels about, eyes traversing the length of the beach. He scoops a hand around his stubble, and you hear it rasp like sand. “Where the shit did everybody go?”

You shrug with one shoulder. “Beats me. I was far too engrossed in my trashy novel to notice.”  You dog-ear the page of said book and put it to one-side before leaning back, supporting your torso on bent elbows, legs still elongated before you and crossed neatly at the ankle. The position pushes your breasts out, and you swear Santiago tries valiantly to look just about anywhere else - more or less succeeding too. 

“Then… I think we’re alone now.” 

A mischievous smile catches the corners of your mouth. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone around.” 

You turn your head towards him, to see if he’s picked up on your song-lyric-inspired choice of words, but the solemnity of his expression catches you off-guard. His brows are drawn down, the sockets of his eyes all shadowed despite the golden hour glow still pouring over the horizon, lighting the stark contours of him. 

In unison, the two of you shift position, coming to sit cross-legged. Side-by-side, looking out over the ocean. It seems easier that way, you think. Not to face each other directly as you each say whatever it is you need to say. 

You know that it’s come time to say it. That it’s overdue. 

Besides, it’s undeniably beautiful, looking out across the view like this. Enjoying the lapping waves and the undulating, orange zest water stretched out below that burning sky. Now cooling, post-dip, Santiago reaches over for his trusty tartan blanket. Silently, he first tucks it around his shoulders, then he passes it around yours. It’s a stretch for the square of fabric, and so you huddle a little closer to one another, finding it is even more warming as your bodies press together. The wetness of his thigh, from those water-logged, sand-coated trunks contacts you too, but you make no effort to move away, instead resting your folded thigh just on top of his. 

You can smell the ocean on him. Salt and sunshine and sunscreen. He smells like summer.

You look out across the landscape with renewed concentration as you wait for him to speak, not ready to face whatever expression his features may offer. You look outward with vigour while you wait for him to look inward, and you worry that his words - when they come - will surely be more ugly than the sight before you. Will be bitter and not sweet. 

You even brace for it. 

You’re so used to the storm. 

Still, when he eventually speaks, you are surprised. Surprised that he is calm and steady. That his voice is like slow, warm sand pooling into your cupped hands. That his words are both bitter and sweet. “Hey. C’mere.” You link your arm into him. Lean your head onto his shoulder as his tone grows wistful. “Do you… Do you remember that night in Philadelphia?” 

You smile immediately. There had been only one such night in Philadelphia. 

It had been your birthday. You and Santiago had been catching a connecting flight, heading back from a deployment and en route to meet the boys off-base to celebrate. However, all the planes had been grounded due to some technical hitch with the tower. You’d been bummed that your plans had been ruined; but Santiago had come through. Had gifted you one of the best nights of your life. A very silly, drunken night, if you recall. 

You cringe, hazy, smooth-edged memories flooding back. You clap a hand to your face with residual embarrassment. “Christ. The karaoke.” 

Santiago chuckles warmly, and you feel his laugh reverberate through you. “It wasn’t karaoke! You hijacked the goddamn wedding band.” 

Your hand clamps in dismay over your mouth now, and you lift your head from his shoulder to face him. “Oh my god. You’re right.” 

Your laughs mingle together in the tight space between you, becoming indistinguishable, like the tide and the shore. “I still can’t believe you blagged our way into a wedding reception.” 

“I can’t believe it took us so long to get rumbled,” his hand settles over yours, where your arm is still hooked into his.

You beam at him. “Thank God I’m stealthy.”

He pumps his eyebrows, entirely incredulous. “You? Yeah right.” 

“I’m sure I must’ve helped, Pope.”  

“No, cariño, no. You were not helping.” He scratches at his layer of scruff. “Shit. What was it… What did you tell the kid on the desk your name was, again?” 

You try to recall, and when you remember you snort in a full-blown laugh. Your ensuing, chaotic giggle planes tears of joy out of the corners of your eyes. “Mariana Trench!”

“You’re fucking despicable. You know that?” Santiago laughs along with you, and God. It feels good. Really good. It feels effortless, your mirth sharing space like this instead of your anger.  Your laughs mingle then dissipate, withdrawing gently like the retreat of a wave. 

You lean your head back on to his shoulder, but your giggle fit is evidently not wholly through - not just yet. Your shoulders begin to shake up against him - gently at first, and then with a rising chuckle. “Whiskey in the jar-o,” you sing under your breath, wistfully recalling your drunken duet of choice. “Fuck, Santi. That was a good night.” 

He rests his head on top of yours, the weight of it a comfort. “Yeah. Yeah it was,” he agrees. “Jesus, I’m telling you though. They were lucky we showed up. Before we livened things up? The dance floor was as dead as a battlefield after one of Redfly’s sweeps.” 

You hum at the fond memory, a soft smile arcing over your face. He has you curious though. “What made you think of that night?” Why this memory, out of everything?

He stiffens noticeably up against you. Sits more upright. Presses his palms together. “That was, uh. That was the night that I-” 

“-Vomited into a soup tureen?” You interject with a snort, as another random memory flashes back to you.

“No. Nope,” Santi counters decisively. “That was Cat’s Oma’s 80th.” 

You giggle chaotically again. “Oh yeah. Shit.” You miss that lady. She was a sweetie. 

“Hey. Listen,” Santiago begins with far more gravity. Enough gravity that you shift, turning your body as he draws your gaze to him. You had been waiting for this moment to arrive; but, now that it’s here, you wish you could cling on to the sweet things for a few moments longer. Still, you settle opposite him now, the two of you still cross-legged but positioned face to face. He adjusts the blanket around your shoulders, tugging on each corner. With a watery smile, you slide your palms on to his wrecked, perfect knees and give him a gentle squeeze there, seemingly pushing his croaked words out with the gesture too. “I want to say that I’m sorry.” 

You have nothing for a moment. No words, at least. Nothing but the motion of your hands smoothing back and forth over his knees. Nothing but the pained expression as your eyes swim with an ocean of feeling, deep enough to rival the vast body of water before you. 

You note that his eyes are wet too as he settles his own hands over yours, gathering them up into his grasp. He stares down intently at your hands, his brow notching with a deep frown. He drags in a slow breath and releases it. “This got so fucked up, and… that’s not it at all.” He looks back to you then, his umber eyes shining with remorse. Deep regret welling in his resonant tone. “That’s not how I want to show up for you.” 

Your tongue, too, reaches for an apology as readily as your hands had reached out for him. “Fuck, Santiago. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry too.” You had never meant to hurt him. You had never wanted that. 

He drops his gaze to your neat pairing of hands. Gingerly begins to smooth the rough, sea-pruned pads of his thumbs over your knuckles, your skin humming dully where he touches. “I mean it. I’m sorry for everything.” The tendons in his jaw clench, muscles slipping over bone. He drags your cupped hand into his lap, drawing an absent-minded spiral in your palm with the pad of his thumb. The sensation makes a pleasant tingle bed down beneath your skin. “I swear. I never meant for my bullshit to affect you. Christ - that was the whole fucking point. Thought the least I could do, after everything, was protect you from that.” 

At his earnest words, your chest tightens, and you abruptly halt the dance of his fingers by clasping his hands, gathering them between your own palms like a prayer. Your voice cracks in half like a broken promise. “Santiago. For Christ’s sake. You think I need protecting?” The implication in his words cleaves your heart in two. “From you?” 

He shrugs with one shoulder. Sniffs. The muscle in his cheek tugs up, and you feel his hands go clammy in your grasp.

He frees himself from your grip for a moment, before continuing to skim his fingers up and down your forearm arm in a gentle, tender dance. The lightness of his touch contrasts starkly with the heaviness settling into his brow, his wet, puppy dog eyes swimming beneath. “I dunno. I was always a better fucking soldier than I was a friend.” He swallows, his voice so soft you can barely hear him. “Than I was… anything else you might’ve needed me to be.” 

“No. That’s not true,” you respond adamantly, your head shaking vigorously from side to side. “You’ve always been there for me.”

“Except when it counted.”

“No!” you emphasise, the thrust of your words carrying your whole body forward. You shift position, transferring on to folded knees, crouching before him in the sand. Reaching, to slip your palms up to each side of his face, and you hold him like a prayer now. “No, Santiago. Especially when it counted. Believe me.”

He tries to turn away from you - you see it. He tries to begin his retreat, like usual, but this time, you capture his roughened cheek with one palm and you hold his gaze with yours. You speak firmly, willing him to understand. “Santiago Garcia. Idiota. You’re my hero.” 

He scoffs lightly. His face twitches with scepticism. With doubt. With this self-deprecation he always carries, usually so well concealed by his confidence and easy charm. And yet, as you caress his stubble-flecked cheek with your palm, he sinks gratefully into your touch. Leans against it, his eyes fanning closed and his long lashes splaying down towards his cheeks. 

“God,” he breathes softly in Spanish, barely audible. “No-one has called me that in a long time." He lives in a world of aliases and nicknames, and you see the weight of his grief twist his face at hearing his name fall from your mouth. 

“I mean it. Do you hear me?” you plead, snagging his eyes to yours as they drift open. “You have made my life more beautiful in a thousand ways. You’re not -and you never were- something I need protecting from.” You regard Santiago, and his pretty eyes glisten, wet with a well of scarcely contained emotion -starlight in his lashes. “I love you, Santiago. Whatever has happened. Whatever happens. I love you. Not when you’re this ‘perfect’ version of yourself you finally deem worthy of love.” You search his eyes “That’s bullshit. I love you. I love you now.”

Santiago slowly, gradually musters a nod, and you smooth your hands over him. Over his shoulders. the nape of his neck. His chest. Trying to plaster over the evident cracks as his emotion crashes like a wave against rocks. He scoops a hand around his stubble, his lower lip now downturned. Trembling with feeling. Fat, liquid tears shining in his eyes, threatening to overspill. “I love you too.” 

What a terrible, sad thing, you think. That you love each other. That there’s such bounty and abundance, but that at the same time… it is never quite enough. 

Maybe one day, it will be; enough. 

For now though, it is still something which causes you pain. And, you can see -more clearly than ever now- that it hurts him too. 

His eyes dance over everything but you. His face twists. Contorts and tightens as he wrestles with it, but he cannot hold back the tide a moment longer. Full, wet tears spill down Santiago’s cheeks, and he makes some attempt to fumble them away, until they grow too numerous. You reach for him instead, and for a moment he tries to gently bat your hand away. “Hey,” you scold, protest, smooth. “Santiago.” His eyes drop, and his gaze fixes intently on a spot in the sand as you gingerly scoop his tears away with your crooked forefinger. The finger you then trace lovingly along the length of his jaw. The finger you trace along his eyebrow. The point of his cheekbone. Every place the waning golden light paints him. Your eyes dance over him. Every contour. Every sharp angle and every hollow. Every soft, silver curl. And he stays perfectly still. Unmoving, as though he is afraid your touch will withdraw like a tide at any moment. 

“I missed you,” you whisper, and it is at once bitter and sweet. “It hurts. It… hurts to be without you.”

For a stretched moment, you do not believe he will respond, the only sign of movement from him a lone tear sluicing down his sculpted cheek. But, eventually, his words come. “I know. I know, and I’m sorry. I just…”

“Just what?”

“I need to find a way it doesn’t hurt you to be with me.” You shake your head, a protest dying on your lips as Santiago drags your hands to him. “I know you won’t buy this. You don’t have to. But I do want out. I swear it’s just this one last job with Lorea. And then I can… Then maybe we can…”

He trails off, his words waning. Breaking on the rocks. 

He never could articulate a future with you, could he? Never could seem to dream that up.

You could be angry about that, you suppose, but you truly have no more anger left to give. You could be sad instead but, turns out, you’re out of that feeling too. All you have left to offer in this moment, in fact, is a small, resigned smile.

“It’s okay,” you smooth, and what’s more, you mean it. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Your fingers play over the leather and beads of his bracelets. Over the tendons in his wrist. The light hairs on his forearms.

You’re done with all of that now. Done trying to push him towards a future you’re not even sure he wants with you. Not sure he ever wanted. It’s funny almost, as you sit here, letting the future go. You sit here with him, so much history humming between you it’s like standing amidst ruins. Like you are two statues, memories and stories carved into your bodies. Sometimes, it feels like the past is all you have. But, you are thankful when the sinking, orange segment of sun draws you to it, reminding you there is one more thing you have. Something between the past and future. 

You have the here and now. 

You reach for it. 

It’s all you’ve got. Might be all you ever have with him. 

You twist your body, turning outward again, away from him. You fold your knees up to your chin and you loop your arms around them, fixing your eyes straight ahead on the undulating ocean. 

“That’s one thing I always loved about you, you know,” you push out. “How you always live smack bang in the moment. I’m constantly wishing it all the fuck away, aren’t I? Always thinking fifty steps ahead.”

Santiago follows your lead, swivelling to face the sunset too. His body becomes all right angles as he plants his elbows on the points of his spread knees, his butt and the soles of his feet flat to the floor, his hands loosely laced together in the space between his legs.  “You should. You should think about that stuff. You deserve all that. Everything you talked about last night.”

His words cause a tight lump to rise in your throat. 

Do you? 

Does he really believe that? 

Because, if so, then why in the hell don’t you deserve him? Why can’t he be the one to give it to you? 

You offer a theory. 

“Does it bore you, or something? The thought of a future like that?” The question emerges tattered, torn on hooks in your throat which try to hold it back; but it’s something you’ve wondered for too long to suppress it any longer. You’ve wondered without ever wanting to push that thought too far - too afraid of the answer. 

“Yeah,” he says levelly, not a hint of doubt in his voice, and you hold your breath. “With anyone else, yeah. But not with you.” You are relieved but that fades ever so quickly, your face crumpling into something halfway petulant. 

“Then… why?” 

Why is he still running? 

Why is he running from the life you could offer him if it’s something he wants too? 

You hear Santiago tug in and release a deep sigh. Out of the corner of your eye you see him lace his fingers together, soothing his thumb over his own hand like he’s retracing your comfort. “Because… I’m not brave like you.” His voice tips up at the end. Like a question. He reserves all of his doubt for himself, then? It’s not you he refuses to believe in? 

“You’re ridiculous. You’re the bravest man I know.” 

“Heh. Yeah,” he lifts a hand to self-consciously scratch at the bristle of hairs at the nape of his neck. You hug your knees more tightly to your chest. “Running into bullets. Eliminating threats, sure. But… running into safe hands? I’m a fucking coward.”

You hum, a neutral, bland sound which expresses neither agreement nor disagreement. Which takes you nowhere. 

There’s nowhere left to go. 

Perhaps the road ends here. 

Dead end after dead end. 

Only resignation. 

“Maybe we were on the same path, once upon a time, huh?” You throw the statement out with little conviction. You’re giving up on the idea that your words or your actions can make the slightest bit of difference to what could be. For now, you simply wish to make sense of what is. “Maybe - I dunno. Maybe I just ran too far ahead. Racing towards this dream of the future, before you were ready to go there. Maybe I just created too much distance.” 

Santiago hums now too. A tight, pensive sound. “Huh. Is that what you think happened?” 

You rub your palms over your own face. Dig the heels of your hands into your eye sockets. You have as much energy as a spent wave. “Uch. I don’t know.” Wordlessly, tentatively, Santiago reaches, retucking the soft tartan blanket around your shoulders. You manage to smile softly at him, surprised that it does not feel at all forced. “Maybe we just forget all that now. Maybe we just… I dunno. Live in the moment?”

Santiago’s palm draws slow circles on your upper back. You shuffle a little closer to him. “Okay. Then what do you want?” he enquires. “Right now? In this moment?” 

His arm weighs over your shoulder, huddling you closer. “Oh. I don’t know. What does it even matter?” 

“We leave here tomorrow. So tell me. What do you want right now?” 

You could imagine that you are tired of wanting. That all you want is a moment free of wanting anything at all. But that’s not true, is it? You want the very same thing you’ve craved for so long. You want him. Finally though, something in you has shifted. You find yourself able to envisage a future which is far more immediate. Something you can grasp now instead of distantly yearning for. 

The words feel hard and tight in your chest, but by the time they reach your lips, they feel so very soft and loose. Easy to sound out. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to hurt you. All this time I missed you so much.” Unconsciously, Santiago holds you just a little more tightly. “I just…”

“What?” he whispers. 

“I want us to fall asleep together. I want to hold you. I just want us to have one moment like that, Santi. Peaceful, you know? After everything, don’t we at least deserve that?” You tug in a breath to launch your next words, your throat closing protectively around them. Making them sound small. “And… And maybe…” 

“What? What else?” 

“Can’t we just fuck and feel happy about it? Can’t we have just one fucking moment together that doesn’t feel like an ending?”

You wait, your raw-wound words laid out in a line on the sand. You brace. You brace for them to be washed away. To have the salt poured in. 

“Okay.” 

Your eyes snap to his in surprise, and you find his soft, ardent gaze dancing over your features. “Okay?” 

Santiago’s fingers lace with yours, and he tugs you to standing. “Come with me. Come on.” 

He gathers up the remaining supplies, slinging the filled beach bag over one shoulder. Then, he folds his other arm around your middle. Tucks you into him. You let him lead you to the house, and it’s nice. It’s nice that for once, you’re not begging him to follow. 

You let him lead you up the dunes, back to the house, and up the stairs. 

You leave the golden, sinking sun behind you, but with Santiago’s warm, molten gaze shining on you, you still feel the sun on your face. 

[brights-place]

My birthday was 5 days ago and I forgot to request this then but I was wondering if you could do a fluff or something with Trollex and Synth as their both mine favorites? I loves your writings by the way ❤❤

Trollex & Synth B-DAY headcannons!

Pairings: Synth X Reader, Trollex X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Synth being an cutie, Trollex being a cutiee X1000

A/N: Happy late birthday lovely! I hope you enjoyed it! and hope you also enjoy this writing too :D

Trollex

- Trollex setup everything for your birthday party and got a rave all ready for everybody to celebrate your birthday - He had everything organized. The music, food, a romantic dinner, and even his favorite cake…everything! He couldn't wait to show it to you when you have arrived. - He had set up a rave as an entrance with laser lights, music, and an open bar. - A rave was in full swing as he smiled having you beside him with the music that was pumping and energy was high - Everyone at the party was having a great time The music was loud and energetic, and there was plenty of food and drink to go around. Trollex felt the atmosphere buzzing with excitement. - Everyone was having a great time especially you! as you cheered with the citizens who wished you happy birthday

- You couldn't help but feel utterly amazed by the surprise party as he cheered with you - and kissed you deeply with a huge smile as you laughed at your partner - Trollex felt a rush of excitement as he watched you take in all the details he setted up for you - but if your an introvert then he'd do a quiet birthday party for you - He had everything organized. The music, food, a romantic dinner, and even his favorite cake…everything! He couldn't wait to show it to you when you have arrived.

- As the time of the party neared, Trollex started getting nervous. He was worried that he might have forgotten something. But he had checked and doubled-checked every detail…everything was in place. - He organized everything with you in mind and making sure it was a comfy party for both of you mainly you! -He had set up an intimate dinner with all your favorite foods and snacks! - The decor was simple but cozy just the way you like it :DD - And for the cherry on top he had bought your favorite cake and had arranged for a quiet celebration with just the two of you - It was just the two of you enjoying each other's company and celebrating another year of life. - Trollex loves you so much and always wishes you a good and happy birthday

Synth

- Synth wanted to celebrate your birthday in a unique and special way - Synth had planned a surprise rave for you his amazing partner! - You both having been together for years Synth knew exactly what you liked and wanted to create a special experience for your birthday - He knew that you liked raves, so Synth had planned to make this surprise rave even more special - He had set up the playlist chosen the music, and picked out the perfect spot for the rave with the help of trollex who was setting down the beats - Synth was excited to see the look on you face when you have realized that Synth had planned everything. - But again if your introverted he doesn't mind either this golden retriever loves you either way

- He organized everything with you in mind and making sure it was a comfy party for both of you mainly you! -He had set up an intimate dinner with all your favorite foods and snacks! - It was just the two of you enjoying each other's company and celebrating another year of your birthday and your life - Synth would stare at you if your both cuddling while binge watching shows or movies as he stares at you with large pupils - Face smothered in kisses and him clinging to your wait - Either way he loves you so much and always wishes you a good and happy birthday

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

[bunny-dr34ms]

'till we meet again' ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

- g. suguru x f!reader, g.satoru x f!reader

summary. suguru leaves but he leaves you with more than just a goodbye. w.c. 2436

cw/ tw; fem!reader, confessions, heartbreak, self-destructive!reader, grief

features; g.satoru, g.suguru, i.shoko, f.megumi

an; sometimes i just wish just one person was there for suguru. just ONE :( comments, reblogs, and hearts are always appreciated <3 thx for reading !! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

What did we fight for? What did I fight for? Those questions constantly rang in your head as your life continued after the failed Star Plasma Vessel mission. You're sure it was the same for the other two. Perhaps Satoru knows he has no choice but to keep going. He's so much stronger now that he does everything alone. Group missions became like playdates for him. Maybe Suguru...well Suguru was always more benevolent than your other classmate so you were a little less worried. Suguru was just less rash and more stable, so no one worried about him. And you? You weren't part of the mission and you continued to train so at least your missions won't fail. That's just how it is for jujutsu sorcerers. You were nothing special. Nothing strong like Suguru and nothing unique like Shoko and definitely not a prodigy like Satoru. Your mentality made you all the more weak. You cry easily, you empathize easily, and you were too kind and too forgiving. They tell you girls have to be even stronger to survive as a sorcerer but you couldn't help it. In such a sad and unforgiving world, can't you at least feel as you wanted and forgive as you wanted? Your technique consisted of being able to control anything with your cursed energy--dirt, water, limbs, corpses--anything. The downside was you had to learn how to control each thing separately so you spent your days infusing random things on the field with cursed energy. All the time you spent at Jujutsu Tech training and running mission after mission meant seeing Satoru more often. If he wasn't at a mission, he was back reporting to the elders. Sometimes you'd greet him when you pass each other, you leaving the elders, him just walking in. No matter how worn he looked, he always still gave you a smile which you'd secretly blush about every time you thought about it. You began to look a little more forward to meetings with the elders but your mind was just on Satoru. Sometimes, you made small talk with him. You'd ask if he's eaten or what mission he came back from. Occasionally he'd walk with you to your destination before teleporting back to the elders. All the little things he did consumed your mind. In a matter of months, you were always feeding your little crush on Satoru and the world seemed a little better than before. But that didn't last long.

One day, the news of Suguru mascaraing a village of 100 people and fleeing Jujutsu Tech as a newly announced criminal reached you. All the memories of seeing Suguru around school flooded your brain. His clouded eyes, his forced smiles, and the way his questions got crazier and crazier. Why didn't you check up on him. Why didn't you offer to train with him? You saw all the signs, so why did you just watch him wave goodbye to you each time. Why were you so wrapped up in Satoru that you didn't worry for him too?

First came the shock, then denial, then tears, and then the worry for the rest of your friends. Especially Satoru. You knew, no, every one knew that they were all each other had in this world where only strength mattered. As you expected, Satoru was nowhere to be found and when you saw him on a random day, he walked straight passed you with a blank face. Tight white bandages wrapped around his head but you could tell he had been crying with the redness of his nose. You wanted to stop him and ask if he was alright but by the time you made up your mind he was far behind you.

Days pass and you bump into Suguru in front of a crowded crepe shop. Coincidently, it's the same shop you would bother them into making a stop there before every mission. Suguru smiles and waves and you almost drop to your knees at the sight of him. He says he just saw Satoru and cracks a joke about how he isn't taking it so well. Words can't describe how badly you wanted to run and hug him and cry and apologize. The only thing that chained your feet to the ground was how brightly he smiled. He smiled like he had a purpose, as if he was about to go on an adventure he waited his life for.

He tells you how he saved 2 little girls who were locked away like criminals for being able to see curses. You nod as you hold back tears, your hands clenched into tight fists. There’s relief when you hear about the girls because it means Suguru is still kind. The Suguru you know is still there. Then his next words shattered your already broken heart.

"Take care of Satoru for me 'kay? He pretends he's all that but he's just like you and me. But you know that already. I see how you look at him. I looked at you the same way, you know. Thanks, Y/n. You gave me a reason to hold on for so long."

He last request and his confession made you run to him. Whatever you bought was forgotten by his feet as your hands reached for him. He didn't pull away or reciprocate your hug when your arms wrapped around him. All he did was sigh and place a hand on your head, the action was the last push your heart needed. You started to babble apologies and pleads through your sobs, pulling him tighter, tighter, tighter, until his arms pulled you away from him.

Suguru gives you one last, sad smile. He picks up the crepes and hands it back to you. "Why're you crying so hard? You'll make me feel bad", he laughs. He laughs as if he wasn't leaving you to deal with all this heartache alone. All you could do was stand there as anger, grief, sadness, heartbreak, and self-disappointment enveloped you. All you could do was watch his back as he walked away with an arm waving. Your wails drawn odd gazes from other people but past the whispers and your own crying, you could just make out his last words to you.

"Till we meet again."

That night you cried alone. You could've saved him. You asked yourself if this was how Satoru felt, terribly alone and guilty for letting down someone so dear to him. Satoru. You were so caught up with your crush on him that you didn't notice Suguru's frequent glances in your direction. Or how his eyes saddened when you ran up to Satoru instead of him every time. Or how he'd always be the one walking behind you, assisting you in every mission.

To Suguru, you were the bright sun of his days and the comforting moon of his nights. The way you trained hard to master each random item moved him to keep training. He hated every thing about ingesting the curses and it made him sick more often than not. You'd notice and bring or make him snacks so he wouldn't go on an empty stomach and a bad taste in his mouth. Whenever you passed out from overexerting yourself, he'd reinforce his resolve to get stronger so you wouldn't need to work as hard. Oh and he loves the sound of your giggles. It was truly like music to his ears. The girlish ring and the childish squeals and how you'd double over wheezing with tears in your eyes. He adored it because it was you. He hated every thing about the jujutsu world but for you, he'd fight every sorcerer, absorb every curse, just to make it better for you. Just so you can laugh like that every day without a worry.

You think back to him and suddenly you remembered all the details of your time spent with him. He'd blush when you handed him the cookies you made just for him. He'd offer to go with you on your solo missions even though it meant he had to double up. He did all that and so much more, yet you still failed to notice him. Even leading up to it all, you still didn't reach out, though by then he had long given up his love for you. The loss of Suguru and your shortcomings sent you spiraling. You ignored calls and stayed in your room all day. You barely ate and you stayed up until you physically couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. Shoko would call and text you and you never picked up or responded. Slowly, they faded away from once a day to once a week to once in a while. You would take hour long showers where you sit on the floor and cry until you can't. Some nights you'd think you heard his voice outside calling you but every time you go out, it's just the night silently staring back at you. There are times you go out in search of him but you end up breaking down and dragging yourself back. This went on for months. Eight, if you counted. It was at the end of the last month that Satoru called you. Your crush for him had dissipated from Suguru's absence and you were sure it hit him harder than it did you. The two were like true blood brothers that would live and die by and for each other. When you saw the call, you wonder if Satoru knew about what Suguru said to you. Ah. Suguru's request. No, it wasn't possible for you to take care of Satoru. How could you when he was such a painful reminder of Suguru and when you were decaying yourself. His first call goes by and he calls again. And then again. You tell yourself you'll pick up if he calls just one more time but there was already rapid knocks on your door.

"Y/n. I know you're in there." His familiar voice rings out as he knocks again. You haul yourself out of bed to open the door and there stood Satoru. He was staring down at you, his frown deepening as he took in your appearance. "Ah..sorry you had to see me like this." Your voice was weak and foreign to your ears. You haven't spoken or seen anyone in those months. Satoru walks towards you and you want to shut the door on him but he's slips past you and in the room before you make the decision. He walks around opening the blinds and windows. So he knew you were just holed up in complete darkness for a while. Once he was satisfied with the brightness of the room he sprawls out on your bed. Silence passes and you just stare at him lying on your bed face up. His head turns to face you, his glasses askew and you find yourself looking into his eyes. He's changed. He's changed in the same way you have but he doesn't have the luxury of being able to stand in his sadness. Guilt creeps on your skin. Suguru didn't ask anything else of you but to take care of Satoru. Looks like Satoru's come to take care of you. "You know. He told me to take care of you Y/n" Satoru mumbled, "He told me that you had a heart too kind for our world." A lump builds in your throat and your feet moves on their own. You take a seat next to Satoru's body, your breath shaking as you gathered yourself. "Suguru told me to do the same. For you. He told me to take care of you too." The words quietly slip into the air and Satoru swallows thickly at his name. Silently you hope that his name doesn't become taboo like all the other exiled curse users. At least his name, at least you can say his name and your memories of him to remember him by. The boy next to you looks back up at the ceiling and laughs, "Seems like neither of us listened to him huh." You haven't heard yourself laugh or even let yourself smile since Suguru left. "You're wrong," you think, "You're here taking care of me right now." Satoru's laughs die down and he sits up to turn his body towards you. "It's been hard for you I know but-" "It's been harder for you Satoru." He sits there frozen, making you feel bad that you cut him off. "I-I'm really sorry I-" Satoru pulls you into him, holding you tightly. His exhale is erratic as he strokes your hair. "No..no don't be sorry. I should be the one who's sorry." He knows you and he knew, hell he was warned, that you'd spiral like this but he couldn't bring himself here. Now look at you, all sad and torn but caring about others nonetheless. "I'm sorry," he continues, "I'm sorry for not coming to see you sooner." 'I'm sorry for not coming to see you sooner.' That's what you should be saying. 'I'm sorry for being so pathetic and weak and making you worry about me' is what you think. Nothing, is what you say. Instead you're swallowing your sobs and letting tears flow as you grip Satoru's uniform tightly. He pulls away and wipes your tears with one hand, the rough feeling of his thumb tingles. He coos with a small smile, "Aw look at you. Still such a crybaby." You laugh a little, sniffles following shortly after. He laughs when you laugh. Slowly, the past few months of suffering melt away from you with each exchange with Satoru. Neither of you were fully healed but you both needed each other. Suddenly, Suguru's words echoes in your head. Will you really be able to see him again? Satoru combs his fingers through your hair as he softly talks about what he's been doing the past few months. Past your thoughts you hear about his decisions to be a teacher, the Zenin clan, and this little boy named Megumi. You wonder, will you really be able to see him again? Yes, you think. You trust Suguru. You trust his words. Satoru's finger brushes against your cheek softly and you smile, letting yourself melt into his arms with your head leaning against his chest. The butterflies revive in your stomach with each caress and giggle you share with him.

For now, you'll focus on yourself and Satoru. You’ll get yourself together and get back on missions and training. You’ll work on being a teacher with Satoru and getting Megumi. You’ll keep living every day until the day comes again where he keeps his words to you. Yes. Till we meet again, Suguru.

[malarign]

facetime doctor

(when you’re ill while he’s on tour)

contains: idolbf!Jake x gn!reader | genre: fluff | tw! an illness description (?), apart from that none i think | wc: 0,6k

reblogs likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

The sound of you coughing filled the living room once again. Yesterday you felt perfectly fine, until the end of your every night face time call with Jake. You called each other nearly every day, apart from days his schedule was too packed to manage to get even 5 minutes away from other members. You missed him dearly, but seeing his happiness on stage while performing with his friends made you the proudest partner in the world.

Today was no different and you wished to tell him how happy he makes you feel by his achievements. At the same time, the last thing you wanted was for him to see you in a state like the current one.

Your whole face was puffy and red as a long snot hung from your nose. Your current appearance perfectly reflected how you felt. As if there was almost no energy left in you, body and mind too tired to get up and make yourself something to eat.

Just when you didn’t expect it you heard a ring, notifying a face time call. You prayed you didn’t look too horrible on camera and your illness wouldn’t be too visible for him.

Accepting a call you covered yourself and instead of yourself pointed the view to your ceiling.

“Hey, bubba,” Jake spoke in a baby voice. “Where are you?”

You mustered all the possible energy you had left to make your voice sound plausible and normal. But to no effect.

“Hi,” you said and your voice cracked on the way.

You watched as his expression dropped in shock at how differently you sounded.

“My lovely, are you okay? Can I see you?”

You hesitated for a while, but then thought he had already seen you in much worse states than this one. You slowly moved the camera so that now it showed your face. You almost didn’t recognize yourself.

“My Y/nie, what happened? What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, his honey voice soothing all the ailments you experienced right now.

“I don’t know it was fine yesterday and after our call, I started coughing and all. In the morning I woke up like that already.” You pursed your lips.

He gathered his thoughts and peppered you with plenty of questions.

“Have you seen any doctor? Have you taken any meds by now? Gosh Y/n I told you not to ignore the weather, it’s really treacherous. Have you eaten? Should I call my mom to take care of you?”

“Jake, Jake stop for a moment,” you giggled at his worried state. “It’s just a cold, I’ll be fine by tomorrow or the day after. You have nothing to worry about,” you assured him.

He raised his eyebrow scanning your face. “Are you sure? What did you eat today?” he continued.

Knowing his reaction to what you were about to say you already prepared for scolding.

“Baby, you can’t do that. You need to eat especially when you’re sick. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation once again,” he scolded you, but his tone and expression were ever so gentle. “Let me order something for you quickly, you’ll just need to get it from the delivery man, okay? And please eat before heading to bead.”

You watched his face as he scrolled through the delivery app, wondering what he was going to pick for you.

“This one will help you be back on your feet, love,” he said and smiled noticing your dreamy gaze.

“Thank you, Jakey,” you whispered a little bit shy, feeling butterflies at his protectiveness, despite the long distance that split you.

“Maybe I should really call my mom?” he asked once again a little bit more quiet, but you reassured him you’ll be fine. “Why does it have to happen when I can’t take proper care of you?”

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

permanent taglist: (open) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @kpopstanmeg, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl

[borninwinter81]

William Blake and Good Omens - an intertextual analysis

Please note: I did another version of this and posted it, but it was quite hurried, way too short, and was incorrect in a number of ways so I deleted it. However it had already been reblogged by the time i did so. If you happen to see another version of this meta that's not the right one, this is the version I'm happy with!

After my previous post re William Blake and Good Omens did so well, and so many people showed an interest I've decided to do a more in depth piece. This is focused upon the TV version of Good Omens, not the book.

Please don't tag Neil in this - although it's mostly textual analysis I do a very small amount of S3 theorising, and I know he doesn't want to see that.

I am in no way suggesting that Neil and Terry specifically wrote Good Omens with Blake in mind, I honestly just wanted an excuse to write more about Blake because I love his work so much, and I thought it would be interesting to try and apply some intertexuality since the works will contain similar themes, both being about God, religion, humanity, and angels and demons.

I also should stress that I am not an expert on Blake, there are people far more qualified to comment on him than I. I'm just a former literature student who loves his work.

There have been many different interpretations of Blake's work over the years, so it's completely fine to disagree with someone else's ideas about it, as with any work of art or literature. And although this piece is likely to be long, I'll barely be able to scratch the surface of all the possible meanings that could be ascribed to it.

Much like the old adage that if someone claims to understand quantum physics they're lying, I'm not sure anyone can truly fathom the full meaning of Blake's philosophy (especially in his later prophetic works, fuuuuuuck those beasts....), so if you're confused by him don't be discouraged, that's perfectly normal!

That being said, I wish to discuss the parallels between Good Omens and The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, my personal favourite and probably the most accessible of his longer works.

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence. From these contraries spring what the religious call Good & Evil. Good is the passive that obeys Reason. Evil is the active springing from Energy. Good is Heaven. Evil is Hell."

This excerpt is from near the opening and sets out the central idea of the work - that there is an essential duality to humanity, and each person is a combination of extremes. These extremes are not at war with each other, but rather are equally necessary, hence the "marriage" of the title. "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell" is a metaphor for the human experience.

Consistently throughout The Marriage... Blake refers to the two extremes as Reason and Energy. These terms could be construed in a number of different ways: thought versus emotion, mental versus physical, restraint versus desire, temperance versus excess, caution versus impulsiveness, and following the rules versus free will.

Blake's use of the word "Reason" in this context may be somewhat confusing, however he likely chose it because of his negative feelings towards science and the Age of Enlightenment. Blake saw literal visions of angels and prophets and the divinity of all creation, and hated that science reduced everything to formulas, calculations, and materialism, leaving the world bereft of wonder. "Art is the Tree of Life. Science is the Tree of Death" as he put it.

His ideas about "reason" are best expressed by his painting "Newton". Though inspired by the scientist, it is not a portrait - instead it depicts a figure deeply engrossed in scientific drawings and calculations, totally ignoring the beauty all around him - see below.

In the context of The Marriage... Reason is "passive" because it involves thought, caution, self-restraint, and doing what you are told, all states which block action. Energy is "active" because it is physical, emotional, impulsive and allows you to act based on your own choices and desires. It's quite clear that Blake feels "energy" is the preferable state - he tells us as much in the next section:

"The Voice of the Devil

All Bibles or sacred codes, have been the causes of the following Errors. 1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul. 2. That Energy, call'd Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, call'd Good, is alone from the Soul. 3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies. But the following Contraries to these are True. 1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that call'd Body is a portion of Soul discern'd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age. 2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy. 3. Energy is Eternal Delight."

So the body is an aspect of the soul, not separate from it, Energy comes from the body, it is Reason which places limits upon Energy, but Energy is eternal delight. Physicality, desire, impulsiveness, emotion, sensual pleasure and free will are not wrong or evil, they are aspects of the human soul and it is from them that we derive our enjoyment of life.

This does not necessarily mean that Reason is always bad. After all, Blake tells us that both are necessary for human existence. Sometimes temperance, caution and thought before action are required. But Reason becomes negative when it "usurps its place and governs the unwilling", i.e. when it completely supplants Energy and becomes the sole guiding factor, forcing passivity.

The Angels of The Marriage... are governed by "systematic reasoning", therefore they are wholly creatures of Reason. They are also "all religious" meaning they believe the "errors" stated above. His Devils by contrast "hate religion" meaning they believe the "contraries", which are the true statements according to Blake. It does not necessarily follow that they are wholly governed by Energy, merely that they believe Energy is "eternal delight".

It is worth noting at this point that Blake saw God and religion as totally separate. For Blake, "God" is that connection with divine wonder which was integral to his life; he tells us plainly that "all deities reside in the human breast" and that "the voice of honest indignation is the voice of God". In other words all humans have a direct and intuitive link with God and don't require the church, Priests, or a religious framework and adherence to a set of rules in order to reach moral decisions. These rules exist only to "enslave the vulgar".

The importance of this ability to make one's own choices about a moral course of action is shown by one of the "Memorable Fancy" sections of The Marriage...

Blake relates how a Devil is able to use an Angel's "systematic reasoning" against them:

"if Jesus Christ is the greatest man, you ought to love him in the greatest degree; now hear how he has given his sanction to the law of ten commandments: did he not mock at the sabbath, and so mock the sabbaths God? Murder those who were murder'd because of him? Turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery? Steal the labor of others to support him? Bear false witness when he omitted making a defence before Pilate? Covet when he pray'd for his disciples, and when he bid them shake off the dust of their feet against such as refused to lodge them? I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules."

The Angel has no way to refute the "reasoning" that Jesus was governed by Energy and "impulse", i.e. his own morality, the "voice of righteous indignation", not reasoning and the rules laid down by Heaven. And because Jesus is the Messiah he must be virtuous, therefore Energy is virtuous. The Angel immediately allows himself to be consumed by fire and is resurrected as a Devil.

How can these concepts apply to the world of Good Omens?  This was where my first draft was totally incorrect, as I tried to transfer Blake's ideas about Angels and Demons and Heaven and Hell wholesale, applying "reason" to Aziraphale and Heaven and "energy" to Crowley and Hell.  In fact the divide is slightly different in the GO-verse: Crowley and Aziraphale *both* represent Energy, and it is Heaven and Hell that act according to Reason.

At first glance Aziraphale may appear to toe the line - he needs creative application of the rules to make him comfortable with trying to avert the apocalypse, and when he doesn't like the way matters are being handled by the Archangels he seeks a higher authority and goes straight to God. He'd clearly prefer someone to be confirming the rightness of his actions for him. However this doesn't mean that he won't act on his own.

Immediately upon his introduction to the story he has given away his flaming sword, an action that he took impulsively because he felt it was right, not because someone told him to. It bothers him, but he does it anyway.

In the Job storyline, though he initially looks for some loophole within the rules that will allow him to save Job's children, in the end he directly goes against Heaven to do it, even though he believes he is going to Fall and become a Demon for having done so.

Though he resists it and exhausts all other possible avenues first, he eventually does take an active role in averting the apocalypse in S1.

He hides Jim at great personal risk to himself and against the will of both Heaven and Hell, again because he feels it is the right thing to do.

He is therefore perfectly capable of independent action from a position of "righteous indignation".

On a more basic level, he enjoys worldly pleasures, which all come from "energy" according to Blake's philosophy. Food and drink most obviously, but also books, music, dancing, theatre, art and so on.

Crowley is more easy to place as acting from Energy - in spite of the obvious aesthetic differences between them, he also loves worldly pleasures. Alcohol and coffee, snazzy clothing, driving his car with Queen blaring on the stereo, going to lunch with Aziraphale, Shakespearean comedies. All things he isn't supposed to want or need, and which baffle other Demons, in the same way that Aziraphale's desire for food baffles the Angels.

And he's absolutely willing to act according to his own moral impulses when they conflict with Hell's orders (or Heaven's), be it saving Job's children, ensuring that Elspeth doesn't die by suicide, or averting the apocalypse. Yes, he'll try to hide his "good" actions in order to avoid punishment by Hell, but he's firmly "on his own side".

Conversely, Heaven and Hell are both part of the structure of religion in this story, are strictly adherent to a set of rules, and their inhabitants appear to have no real desires of their own, other than possible advancement within the systems they uphold. They are "passive" in that their functions allow the status quo to continue and the "great plan" to unfold as they believe it is meant to, even though each side expects a different outcome.

Again, applying Blake's philosophy, I would say the reason for this is that "energy is from the body". Crowley and Aziraphale have both been given bodies in order that they can exist on earth, and *have* existed on earth for 6000 years, therefore "energy" - physical pleasures and free thinking - have become a part of who they are.

On a more fundamental level, possession of a body can be equated to humanity, and humanity has been shown as the most powerful force of all in this story, its influence having led to Adam becoming "human incarnate", and thus acting according to what he feels is right, instead of fulfilling the function he was destined for.

Heaven and Hell contain no material objects, and the Angels and Demons are spiritual beings, having no bodies, so they are not open to energy, and therefore are wholly governed by Reason, and the preservation of the religious structures within which they exist. Structures which, as for Blake, may not actually have anything to do with God herself. In S1 she is a distant observer, clearly aware through her narration of all that is going on, but not interceding in any way. In S2 she is barely present save for her voice being heard briefly in Job, and overlaid with Gabriel's on two occasions.

Bearing all this in mind, what predictions can we make regarding S3 by applying Blake's philosophy?

"The ancient tradition that the world will be consumed in fire at the end of six thousand years is true, as I have heard from Hell.

For the cherub with his flaming sword is hereby commanded to leave his guard at [the] tree of life, and when he does, the whole creation will be consumed and appear infinite and holy, whereas it now appears finite and corrupt.

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment."

The parallels of the cherub with his flaming sword, and the passage of 6000 years should be obvious to anyone reading this - they have of course been lifted directly from the Bible as they are in GO.

I have read some metas which speculated that Aziraphale's bookshop, or perhaps Earth itself, is a metaphorical stand-in for Eden or The Tree of Life. Aziraphale has been commanded to leave his "Eden" and will now be instrumental in causing the whole of creation to become infinite and holy, but Blake tells us this will be done by an improvement of sensual enjoyment, which arises from Energy not Reason.

Sensual enjoyment is something which is intrinsic to Aziraphale's character, and this could make his placement in Heaven very important.

Putting aside all the "final fifteen" theories and taking matters at face value, Aziraphale tells us that if he's in charge he can make a difference - he needs to subvert the system from the inside out. The most subversive thing of all could be that a sensualist who acts according to "the voice of moral indignation" and "Energy" has become the supreme Archangel. We have seen in Blake how a realisation that Energy could be virtuous was enough to convert an Angel into a Devil (incidentally, does the image of an Angel being consumed by fire and emerging as a Devil seem familiar at all...)

We may have seen the beginnings of this already. Gabriel and Beelzebub became open to Energy from such little things as visiting earth, spending time in one another's company, and their mutual enjoyment of a song, which has given them wants and desires beyond those dictated by Heaven and Hell. This is enough to make them wish to leave their roles behind.

It's possible that the same may happen with Muriel. They haven't yet imbibed food or drink, but they have shown an enjoyment of books, which are an earthly pleasure, and open the reader up to new ideas and ways of thinking.

Of course, this would lead to questions regarding the Metatron's statement that he has "ingested things", and whether this means he is acting from reason or energy. Of course the simplest explanation is that it is a manipulation tactic, and he is lying about having done so, but if true that statement has some interesting implications. However, this is now super-long and I'm out of juice, so will leave others to speculate. I may return to this in the future!

There we go, hope you enjoyed. I doubt this will reach nearly as many people as my first Blake post, but if a few find it of interest then my work is done!

[roomsofangel]

. . BY YOUR SIDE / DESTROY YOU

# CHAPTER THREE !

synopsis in which you were always the type to push down and never confront your past and the feelings that came with it — all of the pain and regret. but now you’re back at where it all started, having no choice but to face it and feel everything all at once

warnings brief mention of throwing up but its used as a metaphor.

wc 1.0k

if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ^_^

everything felt taunting. it was as if the three years worth of attempted soul searching and healing inner wounds was something you forced upon yourself for no reason. you wanted to turn around, go back to where you deemed it safe and comfortable — you snuffed those demons to bed a long time ago, you had no desire to wake them up again

and it seemed your thoughts were being heard, the overweighing pressure on your heart and chest was shared when hongjoong cleared his throat. “we don’t need to do this, y/n.” he said, eyes boring into you with concern and his hand on your knee as another way to comfort you and show that he was there. he was listening.

words felt stuck in your throat, almost as if you could blow up and purge out an entire manuscript of word vomit if you pushed yourself just enough so you sighed. you shook your head and wiped your face, “i just need to get over it.” you muttered and it only gained you your own sigh from hongioong. “you always say that, maybe that’s why you’re being put into this situation.”

your head shot up, “are you saying i manifested this shit?” your voice wasn’t harsh or anywhere near something that could be deemed as an attack, if anything your words shook and you wanted to cower with each little bit you said and hongjoong immediately shook his head again. “no that’s not what i’m saying..”

he looked up at seonghwa and mingi who entered the room, the elder with his brows scrunched and hands on his hips, “y/n, we don’t have to do this.” seonghwa was firm, almost as if he was making sure you knew they were all serious and okay with not going through original plans

“yeah, we really don’t. i mean— do you think i really want to see that fucker’s face again?” mingi scowled towards the end of his words, walking over to take a seat next to you

you glanced at him through the corner of your eye, watching how instead of feeling how you were with your anxious undertones and jumbled up thoughts, he came off more frustared. angry even.

but that wasn’t surprising, it was expected.

“no.. i can do this.” you finally spoke up, catching your three best friends and bandmates off guard. “y/n, you don’t ha-“ but you cut off hongjoong’s words and continued on, “no. i know what i’m doing and i can’t let him control my life anymore.”

oh, you definitely wished you could take your words back now that you were sandwiched in the warehouse between seonghwa and mingi, hongjoong on the other side of the eldest who kept sharing glances between each other. it was as if they were communicating just by sight alone, maybe it was best not to ask what they were so deep into talking about telepathically. you had a feeling you knew already.

“wooyoung, stop your shit!”

a deep voice exclaimed from outside the warehouse, multiple feet and laughing being heard getting closer as you assumed wooyoung, who whined, responded with “i’m not doing anything this time!”

and then the doors opened, you noticed only three people so far and you could breathe properly for now, for now. neither were him, and instead three guys and a girl, you recognized them from the poster. that damn poster.

“oh! you guys must be blackstone!” the girl exclaimed, a huge smile on her face as she pushed past the boys and to your band who were taken aback at the sudden energy

seonghwa blinked before responding for the three of you, “yeah and you all must be trapnest.” he smiled, looking at the band and you were sure he noticed the one lacking presence

“damn right we are!” a boy exclaimed with a lazy grin, leaning against another who scowled and pushed him off, “wooyoung, shush.” the deeper voice said, attempting to bite back a smile and you assumed those were the two guys you heard before they all came in — yeosang and wooyoung.

the girl’s ears turned red, looking down before back to your band. “i’m sorry about him, he’s always like that.”

“it’s true,” a taller guy said while making himself known, unloading some of the equipment they had, “i’m yunho by the way.” he introduced with a nod, and seonghwa was the first to raise his hand in acknowledgment and introduce himself back. “seonghwa.”

“and that’s hongjoong, my fellow bassist.” seonghwa motioned to hongjoong who was leaned back next to you, head on your shoulder and lifted his hand to form a peace sign and mumble a soft ‘nice to meet you’

“mingi, our drummer.” seonghwa pointed to the pouty face that waved and kept glancing towards the door

“and then we have—“

but before seonghwa could finish the proper introductions, a door opened and you could feel your heart sink when you heard the dreaded name come out through a voice you never thought you’d hear again.

“nana?”

it was almost as if the universe hated you, you were convinced. after you learned the band of trapnest, akira being the lead vocalist of such which you could say and admit, you admired her vocals and stage presence. she seemed like the entire package and you knew if the situation and circumstances were different, you could warm up to her faster.

then yunho, their drummer. he seemed to be the one who did a lot of their moving around and made sure everything was in line if not for their other vocalist, yeosang who you noticed was usually serious most of the time and with wooyoung, their guitarist

and of course, you weren’t supposed san was their bassist. if anything, if he was different you would have been shocked.

you could feel his eyes staring deep into you, enough to burn and you tried to ignore the lingering gazes.

because despite you claiming things have changed, the effect choi san had on you was still the same like the night you disappeared

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taglist (open) @yoichiislovie @atinytinaa

[theladybrownstarot]

🪔🙏🏼NAVRATRI SPECIAL READING🪔🙏🏼

Choose a pile(s)~

What's it about ?

° Let's discover the guidance and messages given by our supreme mother warrior durga !

° Support me by a reblog /like/follow to grow more to come with relevant and suited readings by tarot .

PILE 1. PILE 2.

Om ma durga namah~

PILE 1 .

• I know how confusing is it to make important decision OR when we have to get clarity over things but remember the Answer lies all inside you .

• let go of all those people who hurted you child really leave it. Why not to share your pain out with animals OR to yourself haha all is temporary and that's the blessings . Those who hurted you will get everything back to themselves. Your culprit/problem/pain anything will be found just keep up the hope .

• study 📖 now students if you didn't,don't skip to last idiot OR you see the results then . You know overcome the emotional and mental pain by using positive thoughts . Don't overthink just surrender to me and I Will get it done by a magic snap ✨️ ^^.

• worship or chant mata sita's name like this - Jai ma sita ! She is says when you Serve those with love and to yourself you Serve divine .

• leave junk food and focus to eat healthy one . Exercise if you don't otherwise you gonna be sick. Most of you are sick .

🌺🦚🪷

PILE 2.

• oh child don't panic be positive because I know it is hard to two or several things at a time. You know let it go because I'm gonna provide you something else that Will suit your new version of yourself to give you what you deserve .

• don't run don't run at all instead face and be independent for your things . Don't get scared for something that's not gonna happen to you when there's exist a possible to change it .

For least don't rob anybody OR don't get yourself into the unsual pieces of advice of others . Be aware of those people whom you feel Will come but they will ditch and go away.

• Find a new job/hobby/project/activity or anything that can you get you out from the mess. Children in group projects don't let yourself get suppressed instead get some new ideas and ways also express the fear and tackle !

• okay, this is wonderful because I got mata Lakshmi coming here telling me that if you had financial/romantic/relationship then it's all gonna end . She has seen your hardwork and she is impressed because we attract who we are . Love is coming soon but maybe one of you is delaying it because you are fearing and avoiding .

• people clean your house home room any thing because goddess is coming and she hates mess so pls get your messy room cleaned and till then start loving things people and yourself little little because that's how we grow !

° wait wait why in each pile I'm getting sick energy and if it's true please take care of yourself.

The end 🙏🏼~

So we come to the end people and do comment Jai Mata di to bless yourself and manifest your wishes . I'm gonna bless you and your wishes ✨️

[queengiuliettafirstlady]

Summer Birthdays Surprises of Love

Summer Birthdays Surprises of Love

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire Pairing: Napoleon Bonaparte x OC (Elaine) Tag: Established relationship Birthday Fluff Surprises Kisses Fluff

Word Count : 1.327 Author’s Note: Happy Birthday Honey @kissmetwicekissmedeadly

I am here to wish you a very happy birthday as very happy indeed you make me everytime we chat. 😍

You always shine like a star enriching the fandom and the entire workd alike with your dazzling presence. 😘

I am happy and proud to call you my friend for it I wish to see you smile everyday like today. 🥰

I thus hope in all honesty this humble gift would be enough to thank you for all the adventures we shared together. ❤

Tag list @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @aquagirl1978 @lichtluv @rjthirsty 

You can find me on AO3 as QueenJuliet 😊 Thank you for everyone who will like, reblog, or comment please be gentle with me english is not my first language so please do not leave rude comments I apologise for eventual errors I hope you will like it 😊

It was a placid summer morning, on any other occasion they would have used it to their own advantage to go to the beach or stay home lazing around in their private pool in long sessions of love making … but not that day.

They were lazing cuddling on the swinging porch bench talking about everything and nothing, his fingers lazily caressing her hair as she purred softly nuzzling in his neck pawning at his chest heabutting it like a clingy swan.

“I hope you enjoyed my homemade breakfast.”

“Of course I did, thank you. It was all delicious.”

“Good cause I have so much in store for you today.”

“You didn't have to ?”

“Trust me there is nothing more rewarding than making you happy the day you are born.”

“I love you so much. Elaine.”

“I love you too, Leon.”

Gently he took her hand in his, enticing his ginger sin hers as they walked through the garden. 

She began to walk toward a bush when suddenly crouched down to it, something white caught her eyes and soon she noticed it was a piece of paper far from ordinary.

A swan origami, that judging by the expert way it was made it must have been a work of his lover, proved by the elegant signature of the written words on its wings.

The idea he learnt it only to make her happy, warmed her heart with affection.

“What did it say, my little ?”

“It seems we have to find all of them, to find a surprise.”

“We haven’t time to waste then.”

And so their whimsical treasure hunt began, bringing them on trees’ tops and in rabbit’s holes, patching every corner of the garden 

It was noon and the air was pretty hot but the freshness of the wind helped them regain their energy, to continue.

At each paper bird they dove deeper into the forest surrounding their cottage and before they knew it they reached a little lake.

It was a special place for them, she still remembers the first time he brought her to propose to her. 

It was so romantic she wasn't able to hold back and jump in his arms tumbling with him on the ground.

She smiled fondly at the memory following him as she sat quietly next to the pool diving her hand in it, splashing playfully his husband who smiled brightly at her all the while. 

“Ahhh Look Napoleone ducks.”  

She clapped her hands happily as the birds walked towards her, lining up to be petted, squealing excitedly as she distributed them some pieces of bread Napoleon offered her to take from the paper bag he had hidden in his trousers pockets.

Her laugh tingled like a wind chime in the summer breeze and as warm as the sun.

“They are so pretty. Leone, I found your duck-version.”

There was an innocent mirth in her smile as she took the black and white goose in her arm gazing back at him, enough to enrapture him in that lovely spectacle.

“Ehhehe I am sure it did, but it seems his companion is quite jealous.”

“Oh this laughing merrily she took another all white with little spots of brown here and there.”

“It looks like you nunuche.”

“Ehhehe You are right. I wonder if they are a couple.”

“I am sure they are.”

“I love petting them, they are soo soft, and they seem to love you too.”

“I see you have rivals ma reine.”

The pout on her lips was way too adorable but he desired to see her smile more and so he leaned over brushing his lips on hers.

“Don’t worry Rose, you are my only one.”

“As you are to me, Leone.”

“I know you would have liked it mia piccola that’s why I brought you there.”

“How long did you know they were there ?”

“I discovered it only recently, they must be newcomers.”

Before they knew it, the ducks vanished in the forest where they came from.

“Ahhh they went away.” she looked so down he had to took her hand squeezing it softly 

“Please don’t be sad, we can come here as many times as you like.”

“Really ?” The sun returned once more to her cheery blossom eyes as she gazed hopefully at him.

“Of course we can.It will be our little secret.”

She giggled happily squeezing his hand as he entwined his fingers with hers, before walking away hand in hand gazing up at the stars as the begin twinkle in the night sky. 

“Leone.”

“Yes dear ?”

“Our home isn’t in the opposite direction ?”

“It is … but my surprise isn’t.”

“What, there is more ?”

“Of course I want to make you the happiest you ever were today.”

“You are always so gentle to me.”

“Au contraire, ma reine. You are the sweetest one, I am only showing you my love.”

“But you do it everyday.”

“As you do but today is special, n’est pas ma petite ?”

“You have a way with words you know.”

“Only for you ma petite rose.”

Swiftly he went to hug her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist before tickling their way to her eyes.

“Now my good girl, close your eyes.”

She giggled softly, placing her hands above his. 

“Your surprises never fail to make me happy.”

“I hope this won’t be an exception.”

Gently he guided her toward a place where he made her sit on an armchair, she obeyed promptly leaning back against the cushions, turning to look in the directions where she heard him walking toward. 

“Now open your lipsand say Ahhh.”

“Like this ?”

“You are going great mon amour. Now close it and enjoy.”

The sweet savour of chocolate mixing with the light taste of the fig was a treat for her taste buds, cherishing the surprise as much as she was, chewing on it slowly, not wanting the taste to be washed away from anything … except that from Napoleone’s tongue, an image that makes her cheeks ablaze with a mix of ambarassent and anticipation. 

“Leone, it's delicious.” 

“I am so happy to hear that, then you are definitely ready for it.”

“For what ?”

“Open your eyes.””

“Oh my gosh.” 

“Do you like it ?”

“Leone I love it.”

She jumped in his arms smacking a kiss on his lips before reaching for the cake, at the center of the candid tablecloth stood a complex sculpture entirely of white chocolate of two swans whose curved necks created a heart.

“You baked it yourself.” 

She couldn't believe her eyes, it was an amazing gift like those she could only dream of, but with Napoleone around she knew that each dream turned into reality.

“I did, it took ages but it was tenfold worth it to see you smile.”

“Happy Birthday amore mio.”

“Thank you Napoleone.I don’t know how to thank you.”

“There is no need to, your smile is more than a royal reward for me. Your happiness brightens my day, you do. Your existence gave me purpose, never forget that.”

His touch was unbearably gentle as he brushed on her cheek,  gazing straight into her eyes conveying all the honesty and affection of his words in a tender kiss as he melted his lips on hers.

“I love you mia principessa more than you ever know.”

“I love you too, mio principe, so very much.”

The stars in the sky twinkled even brighter as he carried her princess style toward their room, ready to give her a much more intimate proof of his love, to the one and only that captured her heart, making him happier than he ever was, than he ever imagined being in all his dreams.

Together they found home to create, cherish and fill with the feelings bounding their heart, the same emotion that made the Universe go around since the beginning, the powerful spell of love.